Lee Goldberg

Vital Knowledge

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Before you write to Walter Scott of Parade Magazie to find out if someone is dead or not, use this handy checklist from my brother Tod.

a few ways to tell if the person you’re inquiring about is dead:

1. You are really, really old and unable to access the internet.

2. The person you are interested in starred in a "talkie."

3. Sometimes, you wet yourself a little and just say, "Ah, to hell with it."

4. There are nights when you honestly believe that signing a petition to get Diagnosis Murder back on TV might actually help.

5. Lately, you’ve felt very guilty for admiring the bronzed flesh of
Lindsay Lohan and wondering what it might be like to see her in a
Lucille Ball bio-pic where you get to play little Ricky.

6. The last show you remember watching was The Big Valley and after that went off the air you decided that from now on, you were just going to write The Big Valley fan fiction.

Want to know more? Check out "Letters to Parade: On The Nature of Dying."

Hypocrisy 101

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Fanficcers have no problem routinely infringing on the copyrights of books, movies and TV shows…but don’t you dare copy their work.   

Someone emailed me this  excerpt from the fanfiction.net user agreement (the bold-facing and italicizing of the most blatantly hypocritical/outrageous statements are mine):

9. COPYRIGHTS and COPYRIGHT AGENTS

FanFiction.Net respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, there are two methods of recourse depending on the nature of the infraction. If you have a copyright abuse complaint based on theft of your piece by other fan authors, please see Section Ten: Domestic Copyrights. Else, please provide FanFiction.Net with the following information:

(1) an electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright interest;

(2) a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed;

(3) a description of where the material that you claim is infringing is located on the site;

(4) your address, telephone number, and email address;

(5) a statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law;

(6) a statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your Notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or authorized to act on the copyright owner’s behalf.

After this has been received, FanFiction.Net administrators will seek to determine if the piece in question is in violation of your copyright and then respond accordingly.

10. DOMESTIC COPYRIGHTS

FanFiction.Net respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you feel that your writing was copied with out permission and in violation of your copyright by another writer on FanFiction.Net, please provide FanFiction.Net administrators with the following information via e-mail:

(1) Pen name and e-mail address.

(2) Contact information for the author you feel is violating your copyright. This information should include the author�s pen name, e-mail address, and author profile url.

(3) The url of the piece that you have the copyright for, the date that the story was posted, and the title of the piece.

(4) The url of the piece that you feel is in violation of your copyright, the date the alleged infringed piece was written and the title the alleged infringed piece.

(5) Supporting and collaborative evidence that demonstrates copyright infringement.

(6) A short message detailing the nature of the copyright infringement.

After this has been received, FanFiction.Net administrators will seek to determine if the piece in question is in violation of your copyright and then respond accordingly.

Unbelievable. 

POD People

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The writing team that works under the bestselling nom-de-plume PJ Parrish is blogging today about self-publishing:

So why do I hate POD and SP so much? I hate the way they prey
on dreamers. I hate that they overinflate expectations. But what I really
hate is that they make it possible for people to think there are shortcuts,
ways of circumventing the craft, hard work and legitimate editorial process of
becoming a writer. Becoming…that’s the key word here folks. Like way
Tiger Woods became a great golfer. The way Renata Scotto
became a great soprano. The way your Uncle Morty becamea
doctor. Or the way your mom became a great cook.

Here is what set me off:

At a Mystery Writers of America meeting, a
woman asked, "Should I go POD?" I drew in a long breath so I wouldn’t start
screaming and spewing spittle. Then I asked her: "Do you want to publish a book
or do you want to have a career as a writer?" She looked at me like I was nuts
and said, "Well, the latter, of course!" So I told her: "Then do your homework,
learn the craft of writing, educate yourself about the market place and your
genre, submit your manuscript, get rejected, rewrite, rewrite again, throw out a
book and start over, do it all over again and again and again until you are a
legitimately published writer."

Wash, rinse and repeat. She walked away.
She didn’t want to hear it.

They never do.  Because that would require talent, dedication and hard work, which is a lot more effort than just writing a check.

Doing the Konrath II

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Taking a page from Joe Konrath, I’ve been doing a lot of drop-in signings of stock. I have no idea if it makes any difference at all…but it’s a good excuse to visit bookstores. Here’s my tally for this week. Twelve stores visited, 71 books signed. Here’s a list of the stores visited so far:

B&N Santa Monica, CA
B&N West LA, CA
Brentanos Century City
Waldenbooks West LA
Borders Express Thousand  Oaks, CA
B&N Calabasas, CA
Mysteries to Die For, Thousand Oaks, CA
B & N Thousand Oaks, CA
Borders, Thousand
  Oaks CA
B& N Encino, CA
Borders Express Sherman Oaks, CA

B&N Ventura CA
Waldenbooks Ventura, CA
B&N at The Grove
Brentanos Beverly Center
B&N Burbank, CA
B&N Glendale, CA
B&N Pasadena, CA
Vroman’s Pasadena,CA
Borders Express Burbank, CA
B&N Redlands, CA
B&N Rancho
  Cucamonga, CA
B&N Montclair, CA
B&N Riverside, CA
B. Dalton San Bernardino CA
B&N Palm Desert, CA

You may have noticed few, if any, Borders stores in the list. Although they carry my books, they tend to stock so few copies of my titles (usually one of each) that it’s hardly worth the trip. On the other hand, their subsidiary Waldenbooks/Borders Express usually have 6-8 copies of the newest title and multiple copies of the older ones, so I make a point of seeking out those stores.

Dennis Lynds

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CollinsmichaelI just received the sad news that author Dennis Lynds, aka Michael Collins, has passed away. His wife Gayle Lynds was at his side. He was a wonderful man and I will miss him. My heartfelt sympathies go out to Gayle and her family.

UPDATE: The Associated Press ran a story about Dennis this morning that goes into more detail about the tragic circumstances of his passing. I’ve heard from others close to the family that Gayle and Dennis had rushed to San Francisco to see
their daughter, who was seriously  injured in a car accident. This is just terrible news.

Fans are a deadly “Cult”

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Variety reports that Rockne S. O’Bannon, creator of FARSCAPE and SEAQUEST, has sold a new pilot to the WB entitled CULT:

The two lead characters try to get to the bottom of a series of mysterious deaths and disappearances that may be linked to fans of a TV show called … "Cult."

The fictional "Cult" is a "very ‘Silence of the Lambs’/’Seven’-like thriller," O’Bannon said.

In addition to the usual die-hard Trekkie-like fan base, the fictional "Cult" also has "a whole other level of people watching and reaching out to each other. There’s a dangerous aspect to it."

Series leads will "try to figure out what this subculture is all about."

O’Bannon certainly knows a thing or two about "fandom."

Book Vending Machines

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Captpar10108191435 The French have developed a new twist on bookselling:  Book Vending Machines.  They are installed in busy metro stations and on some street corners.

"We have customers who know exactly what they want and come at all hours to get it," said Xavier Chambon, president of Maxi-Livres, a low-cost publisher and book store chain that debuted the vending machines in June. "It’s as if our stores were open 24 hours a day."

Stocked with 25 of Maxi-Livres best-selling titles, the machines cover the gamut of literary genres and tastes. Classics like "The Odyssey" by Homer and Carroll’s "Alice in Wonderland" share the limited shelf space with such practical must-haves as "100 Delicious Couscous" and "Verb Conjugations."

"Our biggest vending machine sellers are ‘The Wok Cookbook’ and a French-English dictionary," said Chambon, who added that poet Charles Baudelaire’s "Les Fleurs du Mal" — "The Flowers of Evil" — also is "very popular."

Regardless of whether they fall into the category of high culture or low, all books cost a modest $2.45.

(Thanks to Bill Rabkin for the tip)

The Untold Story

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I’m visiting my Mom in Palm Springs and read a terrific article in Vanity Fair in the bathroom. No, not the Jennifer Aniston interview, but a Michael Wolff column on the leak of CIA agent Valerie Plume’s identify to various journalists by Karl Rove. Wolff looks at the scandal from an entirely different perspective — that to tell one story, the press conspired to cover up a much, much bigger one.

While President Bush and Karl Rove were issuing denials that the White House blew Plume’s cover, TIME Magazine and the New York Times both knew it was a lie — and said nothing to protect the identify of their source in the original story.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but what they knew was something of such news value, of such moment, of such certain consequence that it might, reasonably,  have presaged the defeat of the President, might hafve even — only to be slightly melodramatic — altered the course of the war in Iraq. So possibly changed history, saved lives…hmmm.

Not only did highly placed members of the media and the vaunted news organizations they worked for know it, not only did they sit on what will not improbably be among hte bigges news stories of the Bush years, they helped cover it up…

Wolff argues there was no excuse for their actions, that the implications of the bigger story trumped the ethical issues of keeping the sources private for the smaller one.

As soon as it becomes clear that an event had occurred that, if exposed, might change the course of government, one which you, the gallant news organization have got the skinny one… you print the story.

How do you rationalize doing otherwise? To whom do you owe your greatest allegiance, source or readers? Again, the greatest news organizations in the land had a story about a potential crime that reached as close as you can get to the President himself and they punted, they swallowed it, they self-dealt.

It’s the most compelling take 0n the scandal I’ve heard yet…and curiously, one no one else seems to be talking about (at least not on the front pages. I’m sure Bill Rabkin, among others, will say this POV has been discussed in a number of opinion pieces…but I don’t read the Opinion section)

UPDATE:  Reporter Warren Olney had Wolfe, among others, on his KCRW radio show today to discuss the article and the questions it raises.