Books

Another Day, Another BADGE Review

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If you’re a regular visitor here, then you’re familiar with Chadwick H. Saxelid, a frequent commenter on my posts and a man whose unusual name I have borrowed (with his permission, of course) for a murder victim in DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE DOUBLE LIFE (coming in November 2006). Today, he reviews THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE on his blog. He says, in part:

Lee Goldberg’s The
Man With the Iron-On Badge is a fun little page turner that, on more than one occasion,
reminded me of Parnell Hall’s Stanley Hastings series.  Like Stanley Hastings,
what Harvey Mapes thinks he knows about private detective work comes entirely
from television shows and crime novels.  (Goldberg’s novel references so many
different television shows and/or books that it almost qualifies as an exercise
in metafiction.)  Unlike
Stanley, when Harvey gets in over his head he finds an inner reserve of strength
and character that he never even knew existed within him.  (Stanley usually
makes an ass out of himself, or he just gets lucky.)

But Mapes amateurish fumbling and on-the-case training are just sly
misdirections on Goldberg’s part.  While the reader is distracted by Mapes’s
growth from junk food guzzling slacker to junk food guzzling detective, all the
clues are artfully dropped.  Another trick is how The
Man With the Iron-On Badge manages to spoof private detective story cliches
while letting Mapes discover that the reality of amateur detecting isn’t all
that different from what is on TV or in books, after all.

Thanks, Chadwick. Now I’m sorry I killed you.

BADGE is So Good

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Gerald So, an editor at the Thrilling Detective website, recommended THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE on his blog yesterday. He wrote, in part:

Goldberg’s clever premise allows him to present a refreshingly un-macho hero to whom any fan of the P.I. mystique can relate. Facing the hard realities behind private eye genre cliches, Harvey believably discovers truths about the case and about himself.

Gerald is big fan of Robert Parker’s Spenser, and runs the Spenser discussion group, so I was especially pleased that he enjoyed the book. I was also thrilled to discover that Harvey Mapes got his own listing in Thrilling Detective’s list of literary PIs.

Coincidence…or an in-joke?

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Someone wrote to me today:

Last night on GREY’S ANATOMY, Dr. McDreamy’s former best friend, the plastic surgeon who had an affair with McDreamy’s wife, showed up. Guess what his name  is? Dr. Mark Sloan.

I wonder if he solves crimes, too, and has a 40 year old son who still hasn’t left home. I haven’t seen the episode yet — it’s waiting on my Tivo.

Levine Levity

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Outlook
My friend Paul Levine talks about his new book DEEP BLUE ALIBI for Penn State Live. You can get a feel for the lively banter in his SOLOMAN AND LORD books just by reading the interview.

Newswire: You write legal thrillers, but your lawyer-protagonists, Steve
Solomon and Victoria Lord, don’t spend that much time in court. Why is
that?

Levine: Where would you rather be, in a stuffy courtroom, or
on a beach in Key West?

* * * *

Newswire: One reviewer called your books: "Carl Hiaasen meets John
Grisham in the court of last retort." Fair assessment?

Levine:
Maybe. I bring humor to the legal system because I see so much that’s absolutely
nutty there.

Newswire: In "The Deep Blue Alibi," there’s a chapter
at a Florida nudist resort. Is it fair to ask how you researched the
scene?

Levine: Like Jackie Chan, I do my own stunts.

* * * *

Newswire: What advice would you give any young grads who want to break
into Hollywood?

Levine: Marry a blood relative of Jerry
Bruckheimer.

Newswire: Lacking that, when aspiring authors or
screenwriters sit down at the computer, what should they be
writing?

Levine: Ransom notes, maybe…

It Ain’t Easy Being the Assistant to a Great Detective…

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Natalie talks about what it’s like working for Adrian Monk in my latest "Natalie Blog" on the USA Network’s MONK site. Here’s an excerpt:

I’ve been reading a lot of mystery novels lately — Sherlock Holmes, Nero Wolfe, Spenser, stuff like that — trying to get a handle on this whole "being a detective" thing.

Based on those books, and my experience working with Monk,
here’s what I’ve learned: Whatever makes someone brilliant at solving
murders is going to make life a living hell for everyone around them.

That’s especially true with Monk. You can’t truly grasp the
magnitude of his anxieties and phobias unless you experience them every
single day and, God help me, I do.

Some Really Nice Things to Say

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The I Love a Good Mystery Blog has some really nice things to say about THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE.

Imagine sitting down with someone who has a wild story to tell, and manages it
to tell it with great humour.  This person quickly becomes a friend, and lets
you in on all the fun details of his adventure.  Sound good?  If so, get
yourself a copy of Lee Goldberg’s book, THE
MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE…

…I tore through this book and just couldn’t put it down.  With a terrific style
that makes the reader feel part of the action, Goldberg has managed to create a
very funny book that doesn’t skimp on plot, dialogue or surprise twists.

Thanks — you made my day. It’s rainy here in L.A. and for some reason, writing today has been like chiseling at granite with a cotton ball (that labored metaphor is a perfect example how badly it’s been going).

Read my Manuscript

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Author Tess Gerritsen has a terrific post on her blog about aspiring writers who want her to read their manuscripts… and get pissed off when she doesn’t.

If I were to say yes to every unpublished author’s request, I
wouldn’t have time to write my own books. And truly, I’m astounded that
people whom I don’t know, or hardly know, would come up to me and
essentially ask, "Say, will you spend eight hours reading my incredible
literary work?" Because that’s what it works out to. Eight hours of
work.

And if you don’t see my point, think about this. What if someone you
barely know says to you: "Hey, wouldn’t you love to come over and spend
eight hours cleaning my house?"

You’d tell them thanks, but no thanks.   

Which will then earn you the resentful comment: "But you OWE it to me
because your house is so clean! Your clean house makes you OBLIGATED to
help me!"

If the person asking me to clean their house is my mother or an elderly
friend, you betcha I’ll go over and help clean the house.

Same with reading manuscripts.  Mothers and close friends get special dispensation.   

But when I hear unpublished authors whine that published authors are
OBLIGATED to help them get published, that’s when my blood goes from
simmer to boil.

I’m not in Tess Gerritsen’s league, but I get asked by strangers all the time (mostly by email) to read their books,  scripts and series ideas… and to pass them on to my agent…or pass them on editors and producers…and they are furious when I politely decline (apparently, there is no polite way to say no to these people). I’m willing to bet just about every published author or produced screenwriter can relate to this.

How NOT To Get a Freelance Assignment, II

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I got this follow-up email from the guy who wanted me to pass along his "15 page episode" to the producers of MONK.

At great risk to her own life Queen Esther sought an audience with the king. He could have easily had her head chopped off but decided to listen to her. Not only did the king have Mordecai, enemy of the Jews, killed, but in doing so, he probably prevented his own murder. Esther’s actions were not based on her own ego but on the compassion she held for her people, the Jewish nation.

Although I could not hope to touch her majestic slippers, I tried to approach the network towers to suggest a new episodic teleplay, only to be told that I was arogant (sic). It was out of my compassion for my five kids and wife that I would even dare to dream. Not interested in becoming a network writer, I only wanted to make a little money to pay some of my mortgage and groceries. Now, how egotistical is that. As far as distinguishing between reruns and newly aired shows, I was at fault. But shouldn’t they be of the same caliber? I am a consumer. Don’t I have a right to voice my opinion? Not all the episodic teleplays can be stellar.
I just thought mine could be considered. But in order to do that, I would have to be talking with one would needed to be more like the king who was willing to listen.

A Valentine for BADGE

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I got a very nice review for THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE yesterday from, of all places, Love Romances.com.  I must admit this site was new to me. The review says, in part:

Lee Goldberg is an acclaimed writer of fiction and non-fiction as well as a TV scriptwriter.  His works come across as  funny and thrilling, but THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE may well be his 
best novel ever.  His humor goes from light to rolling on the floor  laughing and may cause the people around you to wonder just what you are  reading. 

Goldberg has created a perfect character in Harvey Mapes.  He is a man who finds himself looking for more in his life, and takes the leap to find it.  When he finds himself in trouble he doesn’t run away, he goes headlong into the abyss to find out the truth behind the past.  The oversexed security guard will make readers smile and cringe before laughing out loud at his antics.

This novel comes from one of the writers of MONK,  if you think the television show is funny, this is the book for you!

What a wonderful and unexpected valentine...      
       

How NOT To Get a Freelance Assignment

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I got this email today:

I know Tom Scarpling wrote the last episode of Monk, Mr. Monk and the Kid, which aired on Friday last. I was well dissapointed in it. It failed to show any real cleverness on Mr. Monk’s part. I don’t mean to be critical. I don’t watch the show all that much, only when I can come home from working 69 hours a week!
The acting was great, the human experience intriguing and endearing. But the sagacity and creativity was wanting.

I still have the 15 page episode which might shed  new light on Monk’s abilities. I have written two novels already. I am not a  professional but I can’t believe that true talent and creativity are relegated  only to the experienced.

I’ll alert the MONK writing staff to stop whatever they are doing until your "15 page episode" arrives. I’m sure there’s a lot they can learn from it.

"True talent and creativity" are not relegated only to the experienced — but experience, and a smidgen of knowledge, might have taught you that there’s no such thing as a "15 page episode." Hour-long, episodic teleplays are roughly 58 pages. Experience might also have taught you that telling the creators, producers, and writers of a show that you,  whose only connection to the program is infrequent viewing, can "shed new light" on their characters is outrageously arrogrant and probably not likely to win their favor.   Oh, one other thing…the episode you saw last Friday was a rerun from last season. A little research  doesn’t hurt, either.

UPDATE:  After I posted this message, something he wrote still nagged at me:  "I still have the 15 page episode," as if it was something I should be familiar with.  So I did a quick scan of the emails I’ve received over the last year to see if I have heard from this man before. Sure enough, I got an email from him last month:

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