Current Affairs

The RWA Demolition Derby

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It’s fun, in a way, to watch the ongoing demolition derby over at the Romance Writers of America. First their Board tries to institute "graphical standards" and  for book covers and member websites (banning certain images and words). That brilliant move went down in flames. Having not learned a thing from that embarrassing debacle, now they want to strictly define "romance" so they can presumably squeeze out writers and content the antiquated Board members (have you seen their hair?) find offensive, or don’t read, or  simply don’t like.

Romance writer Alison Kent reports that the RWA sent out a survey to its members asking them to choose from their two arbitrary definitions of romance (which, like their "graphical standards," they probably devised without any input from their membership):

“Romantic Fiction” or “Romance” means a story in which a predominant
part of the story line focuses on the romantic relationship that
develops between CHOICE #1 one man and one woman / CHOICE #2 two people
on more than a physical level. Although other elements and subplots may
also be components of the story line, by the book’s conclusion the
romantic relationship has been resolved in an emotionally satisfying
manner.

Hard to believe this is an organization of WRITERS isn’t it? I’ve never seen a writing organization so eager to alienate its membership and destroy its credibility in the professional writing community at large. Why would any romance writer want to be associated with the RWA? You’re better off joining the John Birch Society instead.

“I’m currently watching the pilot of KOJAK, waiting for my bowels to erupt into a Jackson Pollock painting.”

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What is TV Writer Paul Guyot talking about? Check out his blog and see.

It’s nice to know I’m not the only TV Writer who is a total TV Geek.

My recent TV Series boxed set purchases include:  MAGNUM PI,  GREATEST AMERICAN HERO, CRIME STORY, DUSTY’S TRAIL (I admit it, I couldn’t help myself), RESCUE ME,  BOB NEWHART SHOW, KAVANAGH QC (British series), and THE HUSTLE (British series).   

I also have all the box sets Paul just bought with the exception of QUINCY, which I think he is going to be heart-broken to discover actually sucks. KOJAK, however, is every bit as good as he remembers. I even recommend the TV movies they made a few years after the show was cancelled, particularly KOJAK: THE BELARUS FILE.

Ride on My Coat-Tails…For a Price

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There’s hot gossip making the rounds in mystery-writing circles  about the husband of A Famous Author who sent letters to first-time novelists recently offering to sell them blurbs from his wife as part of a promotional "break-out bestseller" package they’ve put together. The services allegedly include having The Famous Author rave about the book on her website, provide links on her website to the writer’s, and provide the writer witha  mailing list of the "Minotaur 100" reviewers as well as members of MWA and SiC.  In that spirit, author Donna Andrews jokingly offers her own menu of promotional services.

I’m not going to introduce my own competing service.  But
I have some ideas.   Just tossing around some rough figures, mind you,
but here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Website link: $5
Working website link: $50
Blog mention: $5
Humorous blog mention: $50
Blog entry claiming that I’ve read your book: $100
Actually reading your book and saying something intelligent about it: contact management for current rates.
Mentioning your book in public as what I’m currently reading: $25
Mentioning
your book as one of my year’s favorites: sliding scale, depending on
where the mention appears.  Contact management to negotiate terms.

Pen Pals

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TV Writer Paul Guyot talks about how important it is for writers to have other writers as friends.

The intangible. See, I can talk to my wife about story, and she
reads everything I write, but even though she actually worked with
writers for a living, understands story and structure, gives very good,
precise notes, there is still something altogether different when it’s
a writer talking with another writer. There’s some nebulous thing
that’s shared.

My advice to any "aspiring" writers, be it screen or prose, is to find yourself a writer buddy.

Just don’t date another writer. I’ve made that mistake.

Buffy The Con Slayer

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Variety reports that the organizer of Slayercon ’05, celebrating BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER down under, has disappeared with the $500,000 raised by ticket sales.

Edward Schumacher, topper of Scooby Gang Promotions — who organized
Slayercon 2005 in Adelaide for July 2-3 — is under investigation by South
Australia’s Office of Consumer and Business Affairs after dropping off the radar
in late April with all the event coin.

"We are trying to contact him to see if he has a bona fide intention to hold
the convention in October or to see if we can get the money back," said Mark
Bodycoat, OCBA topper. "But it doesn’t look hopeful, in my experience if things
start to happen like this it is not going to happen at all."

Unconfirmed reports speculate that he’s donated the money to the  Colonial Fan Force and their righteous cause.

How Hated Am I?

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I got this email today:

Do you realize that EVERYBODY in fandom hates your fucking guts you asshole?

I think it was from my Mom, but I’m going to answer it anyway. No, I had no idea. So, for fun, I thought I’d take a look at what some people are saying. Here’s a sampling:

From Jocelyn’s Other Desk:

Thy lips rot off, Lee Goldberg!  Thou jarring, fat-kidneyed scullian!  You speak an infinite deal of nothing!  […] Goldbergs one and all, thine sole name blisters our tongues.  Thou hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs.

From Nobody Knows Anything Blog:

I understand the impulse to write and read fanfic—you want to live in
this wonderful world as much as you can, and twenty-four hours a year
or one book every two years or whatever just isn’t cutting it for you.
There are several novel series that I am forever hoping will just happen to have a new installment at the bookstore every time I check. But
fanfic is like a steak dinner made out of meringue—might look the real
thing, but it’s not really going to fill you up.

From Dawn Rivers Baker’s Blog:

You know, it’s all very well to nitpick about the legal shimmies and shakes of fanfic,
but the legal stuff doesn’t cover what it must be like for the author
who feels violated by other people dipping their fingers into the
author’s creation. All you really have to do to "get" the author’s perspective is to ask a victim how it feels to have just been raped.

From Nick Mamatas:

Mystery writer and TV producer Lee Goldberg picks up a stick and whacks a hornet’s nest by taking on fanfic.
I have no dog in the fight; after all, what can I say? NOBODY had
better RIP-OFF my ORiGINAL CHARACTERS like … uh … Jack Kerouac and uhm Cthulhu and William S. Burroughs and and and…
However, I do like a good brawl, especially when everyone is so
obviously speaking past one another. "It’s illegal!" "It’s a hobby!"
"It’s illegal!" "It’s a hobby!" Haven’t these people ever heard of an
illegal hobby before? They sure seem to be acting like they run their
neighborhood meth labs.

Read more

What’s the Best Way to Destroy a DVD?

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All the members of The Producers Guild of America have to sign a legally binding agreement before they can receive screeners of movies and TV shows.  By signing the agreement, I promise to  never to sell, copy, loan or giveaway the DVDs and tapes to anyond, and:

If at some point following the relevant awards season I wish to dispose of some or all of the material I have received, I agree to do so by destroying the cassettte or DVD in a manner that prevents its recovery and reuse by any third party. I agree that any violation of this agreement may constitute grounds for discipline, including censure, suspension, or expulsion from the Producers Guild of America and may also result in civil and criminal penalties and that the owners of the rights in the works I recevie are third party beneficiaries of this agreement with the rights to enforce it.

As I menti0ned a while back, my office is already swamped with Emmy screeners. So…anybody got any tips on simple and effective ways to destroy the DVDs I don’t want to keep?

The Fight to Save Science Fiction

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Yesterday on this blog, I refered to a post by Richard Wheeler lamenting the demise of the western. According to an article syndicated by the Associated Press, the Science Fiction genre is also fighting for survival. They talk to author James Gunn, who heads the University of Kansas’ Center for the
Study of Science Fiction…

…which he started in 1982 as an extension of
the writers’ workshops he conducted and courses he taught to teachers looking to add science fiction to their lesson plans. These days, he and the center are gearing up for a new mission – to save science fiction, itself.

…The economics and social shift Gunn and his supporters face are daunting, however.

Andrew Grabois, director of publisher relations at Bowker, said the combined science fiction/fantasy category published 3,197 new titles last year and sold $484.8 million, its highest total in three years.

That’s dwarfed by romance novels, which sold $1.6 billion last year, and is even behind the production of mystery writers, who cranked out 4,181 new titles in 2004.

…Gunn, who considers "Star Wars" closer to a fairy tale than science fiction, says there’s less room these days for what he calls the "mid-level" books that may not sell as well but contain the most imaginative and thought-provoking writing.

"(Science fiction) has to change to remain relevant," he said."That’s harder to do today because the best seller needs to have broad appeal, so they’re less likely to be on the cutting edge. You need that to drive the genre forward."

It seems that every genre, with the exception of Romance, feels threatened with extinction. And yet Romance Writers, whose works outpace the sales of mysteries, scifi and westerns combined, complain (and rightly so) that they get no critical respect or recognition despite the enormous commercial popularity of their work.

The moral of this story? Writers are never happy.