The Pilot Pitch Dance

TV Writer/Producer Paul Guyot blasts onto the blogosphere with a painfully accurate portrait of the pilot pitch dance that’s the opening act of development season.

I’ll be cruising out to LA this summer to make the rounds of pitch
meetings. God, it’s awful. Walking into these offices and sitting
across from low/mid-level execs who, not only have spent their entire
last days
or weeks hearing writers pitch ideas for TV series after TV series, but
who don’t have the authority to say yes even if they LOVE your idea.

The Pilot Pitch Dance is an action in which you must suddenly become an odd
combination of Riverdancer, auctioneer, and Up With People performer, all
while trying to maintain your dignity that you don’t realize until it’s too late that you left with the
guard at the gate when you got your drive-on.

I, too, will be doing this dance come June/July and, after all these years, I’m still not entirely at ease doing it.  Sure, pitching can be fun, but I always end up feeling like one of those desperate hucksters trying to sell The Amazing Meat Syringe ("inject garlic — onions — anything at all —  into any cut of meat!") at the L.A. County Fair.

 

Meet the Blogger

My brother Tod recently discovered that one of his students is actually the author of Booksquare, one of his favorite blogs.  The experience has left both teacher and student a bit unsettled. Tod says:

Now, if you have questions about my evil teaching ways — next week,
I’m looking to outlaw narration all together — go visit Ms. Square and
see if she’s had her spirit destroyed.

Does this mean Tod will censor himself, now that he knows there’s a blogger in his midst? I doubt it.  Booksquare  says:

We have been uncovered: cranky blogger by day, mild mannered student by
night. What started as an innocent foray into the world of academia
became an experience we can only describe as all Tod Goldberg, all the
time.

The horror. The horror. 

Nancy Drew’s Hooters

I haven’t given a lot of thought to Nancy Drew’s breasts, but the folks over at Booksquare aren’t comfortable with the teen sleuth’s new extreme Manga Make-over, which includes a boob job. USA Today reports that Simon and Schuster are releasing a new line of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys graphic novels:

InsidenancydrewLongtime fans will hardly recognize their old favorites. The Hardy Boys
have the wide-eyed look of traditional manga characters. So do Nancy
Drew and friends Bess and George, who wear form-fitting clothes, with
plenty of cleavage for Bess.

The Equalizer coming to a multi-plex near you

EqualizerBob Sassone at TVSquad reports that THE EQUALIZER is the latest TV series up for a big-screen redo.  I always felt THE EQUALIZER, about an ex-spy-turned-vigilante, was an under-appreciated series (with a great theme by Stewart Copeland). It was shot on location in NY and, as I recall, was very well written and produced (by James McAdams and Matthew Rapf, fresh off of KOJAK).   When star Edward Woodward was sidelined by a heart-attack, Robert Mitchum stepped in for a few episodes to take his place. Mitchum was so good, I was almost sorry when Woodward came back. 

Perpetual Halloween

There was an interesting article in the LA Times today about how celebrities dress when they go to court or attend other important social functions.

Most lawyers advise their clients to dress for court as they would for church —
a dark suit, a quiet tie, a tidy hairstyle and a minimum of jewelry. But
that’s just not Jacko.

Throughout his child-molestation trial, Michael
Jackson hasn’t been dressed so much as costumed.  And we’re not even talking about the famous pajama bottoms he wore to court at
one point. (Although it should be noted that the "just rolled out of bed" look
favored by so many college students these days didn’t do the child-man any
favors.)W3

Plastic surgery aside, this trial has been about the many faces
of Michael. On his first day of court, Jackson arrived in a white suit with an
embroidered shirt and gold armband. The obvious reading would be one of purity
and innocence, but Jackson looked more like a lounge singer.

If you or I showed up in court, or for a handshake with the President of the United States,  dressed like Captain Crunch, Reaganmichaeljacksonpeople would be horrified…and it would be seen as an overtly offensive and disrespectful act140006270501_sclzzzzzzz__1 (Take that trekkie, for example, who showed up for Jury DutyAar dressed in a Starfleet uniform, Tricorder and all) .  So how come celebs can get away with it?
[Click on Image for a Larger View]

LA Times Book Review

I’ve been pretty hard on the LA Times Book Review here, so it’s only fair I give praise when it’s due. This was the first issue that I’ve read from cover-to-cover in months. I thoroughly enjoyed it. This week’s edition was a perfect mix of non-fiction and fiction reviews, most of which were entertaining and informative. Jonathan Kirsch’s lively review of Seth Greenland’s THE BONES gave me a real feel for the book and the writing… made me want to rush out and buy it. Stephen King’s review of a new book on HP Lovecraft made for entertaining reading… though it would have been nice, since it was supposed to be a review,  if King actually talked about the book instead of himself for even a paragraph or two.  Peter Straub did a much better job talking about a collection of HP Lovecraft stories and managed to do so without injecting himself into the article even once. There were also many other punchy, informative  reviews, including  looks at DISHING, Liz Smith’s new memoir;  IN THE COMPANY OF CHEERFUL LADIES, Alexander McCall Smith’s 18th or 19th new novel so far this year; and BLEEDING THE BLUE AND THE GRAY, which sounds like a fascinating look  how medicine was practices on the battlefields during the civil war. There was even a thoughtful essay on the work of literary translators. I wish the Book Review was this good every week.

A Quinn Martin Production

Does anybody know who the "announcer" was for all those great ’70s Quinn Martin detective shows?
Barnaby_jones
I can hear him now…

"Barnaby Jones, a Quinn Martin Production. Starring Buddy Ebsen, Also starring Lee Meriweather, Mark Shera. With guest stars Peter Haskell, Burr DeBenning, Joanne Linville, Andrew Duggan,  and with special guest star, Trisha Noble.  Tonight’s episode ‘Mother of Mercy, Child of Death”"

UPDATE:  The mystery is solved. The announcer was Hank Simms aka Henry Fry Simms. Where is his statue at the TV Academy?

Wither Copyright?

One of the interesting things that has come out of the fanfiction debate here are the startling misconceptions some people have about how copyright applies to intellectual property.  Here’s a sampling of views about copyright expressed here over the last few days by fanfiction authors and fans…

a) If the copyright to a book, movie, or TV series  is owned by a corporation rather than an individual, it’s  "a shared world" and therefore belongs to everybody.

No
single person DOES own those characters, or that world, and different
writers may portray characters differently. These are shared worlds
with input that ranges from producer to screen writer to director to
actors, or writer to artist to inker to series editor. We’re *not*
dealing with the vision of a single author or creator.

Here’s another expression of the same view:

It’s hard for me to have any respect for corporations that have no problem with plagiarism as long as it makes them money. Companies and publishers don’t really give a shit as long as they’re
making money, and it’s despicable that they usually get more protection
(and money) than the original creator. Personally, when it comes to the copyright mess, I don’t give a fuck
about the laws–I care more about what the original creator’s opinion.
Feel free to care about the will of the corporations and publishers,
too, but really, it’s not their property.

b) If the characters/stories/worlds were created by writers/artists as work-for-hire (either for comics, TV or movies), copyright protections do not apply.

These are DC characters we’re talking about here. The actual
creators of the characters? Have absolutely no rights to them. Want to
talk about disrespect? Let’s talk about a company that takes the
copyright from the creators and makes money off of it. The authors have
already been stripped of their rights by DC. In the end, who cares about copyright?

c)  Copyright only protects the writers from others making money off their work. Otherwise, people can do whatever they like with the authors characters, stories, etc.:

The thing is you can’t possess ideas. Copyright law protects your right
to make money off your ideas for a certain length of time. It does not
protect your idea from being taken, developped further, twisted,
caricatured, or simply taken into another direction if no monetary
purpose is linked to that.

d) Since the original work (book, movie, TV episode) isn’t altered, copyright isn’t violated.

since fanfic writers never pretend to have created the characters in
question, nor do they profit from sharing their stories, what exactly
are they stealing? How can something be thought of as stolen if it
never left the owner’s possession to begin with?

e) Copyright is pointless because all creative work is derivative.

Authors steal from each other all the time. Some are embarrassed
about it. Most of us get over that and recognize that — if we are
LUCKY — we’ll have one or two really original ideas in our entire
lives, and that even THOSE will have built upon other people’s worki.
Most of what we write will be taken from something or someone else. 

So, in short — don’t be ridiculous. And that goes triple for the
publishers, MPAA, and all the other people out there becoming
anal-retentive on these topics.

If you’re a writer, regardless of how you feel about fanfiction, these misconceptions about copyright are pretty scary… especially when you consider these are people who might some day vote on changes to copyright law in the future. For instance:

And all those slash stories and other "warping" of the characters is
simply AU (Alternate Universe stories). I don’t like them all, but I
defend their right to exist. I wish the trademark laws can be changed
to take the legal stigma off fan fic.

Or, as another poster put it:

Since the rules of copyright keep changing, I don’t think it is wrong
or futile to contemplate changing them further, in a direction
different than the one they have been taking recently. And using
familiar characters who are already part of the public consciousness
does not strike me as wrong per se, especially in a not-for-profit
situation.

Gee, I wonder what different direction that would be? Providing even fewer protections for artists? Why do you suppose there is so little respect for protecting an artist’s right to control how his work is published, broadcast, used or altered?

Fanfic Blowback

Several blogs have weighed in, pro and con and somewhere in-between, on my "Another Day in Fanfic" posting and the ensuing controversy. Here’s a sampling of excerpts:

From Crankywriter:

Fanfic is not taking food out of your family’s mouths, and it’s not
plagiarism. To call it that is an insult to writers who have been
plagiarized, like Nora Roberts, who called her experience akin to mind
rape. And yes, she’s a real writer, and Janet Dailey cut-and-pasted
Nora’s words and claimed them as hers. That’s plagiarism and parasitism
for you.

Nora Roberts doesn’t approve of fanfiction based on her work,  either. For all I know, she calls that "mind rape" and plagiarism, too.

From Banana Oil (a tiny excerpt from a long, long post):

The upshot here is that using others’ characters has a long
tradition among Real Writers, even without explicit consent. This is
not meant as a defense of fan fiction in toto, but rather as a suggestion that even Real Writers do it, so the act itself does not seem to be tainted from the outset.

I think what really bothers Lee are the people who want something for nothing, those who only
write fan fiction, taking other people’s characters and backgrounds,
playing with them like pieces on a chess board, and then proclaiming
“See? I’m a Writer now!” And hey, I’m with him, such people are
parasites and best ridiculed and dispensed with. However, I severely
doubt that each and every writer of fan fiction is such a remora (even
if many or most are), because were I to accept that premise, I must
dismiss a number of my favorite Real Writers as well, something I am
wholly unwilling to do.

From the Creative Guy:

Plagiarism is a very dangerous word to throw around.  Certainly
it has its place, but does it really belong in a discussion (if that’s
the word) concerning fanfic?  According to media tie-in author Lee Goldberg, the answer is yes.
It’s hard to know where to start with this rant, considering how wrong-headed the entire thing is.  Having had some experience with plagiarism, I know there’s a vast gulf of difference between stealing someone else’s work and what fanfic authors do.

From Shannon Stacey:

As a reader, I don’t get it. Writing about the stuff you don’t get
to see—maybe Wonder Woman’s got a dirty old lady thing for the Boy
Wonder?—is not my cup of tea. Why? Because that has nothing to do with
the writer’s story. The actual writer who created those characters
has/had a vision for them, and that fanfic story ain’t it. For
example—the Star Wars movies. I’d have nothing to do with the three
prequels if they weren’t from George Lucas. I’m sure it’s entertaining
for many, it’s just not my cup of tea.

As a writer, I really don’t get it.  It’s copyright violation.  If you’re a writer, how is that not of huge
importance to you? If you write fanfic, and then get published with an
original work, how ironic would it be if you had to defend your
original work against copyright infringement?

Lori Prokop

Lori Prokop, host-creator-execproducer of "Book Millionaire," says she can teach you, yes YOU,  to achieve her Celebrity Status.  Because she’s so darn popular,  you should have no trouble picking out which one of these is a picture of her:
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