Film and Television

The Single Greatest Idea for a TV Series EVER!

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I got this email from Dan yesterday:

Lee, I just came across your blog.  I know you are a busy person so I will keep
this short and sweet…

IDEA: GOOGLE GAMESHOW (I own this
domain)

1. Perhpas it wouldn’t be with google, but google is so hot, you
would think they would be interested in this
2. Essentially, this idea would
be an interactive tv gameshow/reality gameshow
3. People can play along
online for prizes
4. We would add a reality portion to this game show with
contests extending weeks at a time

(I would hope to create a little
craze like Millionaire/Reality TV Shows…even though they are on the down
slide)

These points don’t explain much…but from what you heard, does
this sound intriguing?

That is a brilliant idea for a show, Dan.  So innovative, fresh and unique. It’s got incredible potential.  It’s even better than my great TV show idea:

IDEA: MURDER COPS  (I registered the idea with the WGA).

1) It’s about two homicide detectives who are very different from each other.  (This could be in any city…though NY and Las Vegas are getting kind of overdone).
2) They solve really puzzling murders ala CSI and BLUE’S CLUES.
3) The stories are very twisty and clever.
4) It’s shot in a cool and innovative way with lots of style.
4) I see a big TV star like David Duchovny in one of the parts, maybe Beyonce, too.

(I would hope to turn it into a successful franchise like CSI or LAW & ORDER…even though there are, like, three each of those shows already).

Dan goes on to ask:

Any quick ideas on how a treatment should be written for a show like this?

Yes, Dan, I have a few. In general, it’s nice to actually have a series concept in mind before writing a treatment. Unfortunately, you don’t have a concept. You barely even have an idea.  You’d like to do a game show that people at home can play along with and that is tied in some way to Google. Come to think of it, that’s not even substantial enough to qualify as a notion.

Secondly, you may own the domain "Google Gameshow," but I suspect you don’t own Google. It’s not wise to try and sell an idea that’s based on an underlying property or trademark you don’t actually own.

Third, you obviously have no experience as a TV writer or producer,  so I doubt anyone would be interested in seriously considering your idea.

Fourth, why are you asking me about a gameshow treatment? I have never written or produced a gameshow. How would I know the answer to your question?

Fifth, if  you have an idea for a TV show, it’s probably not wise to email other writers about it, especially those with blogs who regularly ridicule complete strangers who email them their ideas for TV shows.

Walking Tall

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Svenson
The long wait is finally over. The 1981 TV version of WALKING TALL is coming to DVD in a boxed set that includes all seven episodes of the show,  which starred Bo Svenson as Sheriff Buford Pusser, a role originated on screen by Joe Don Baker. Svenson starred in the two theatrical sequels (Brian Dennehy starred in an earlier, unsold pilot for the series).  This just goes to prove they’ll put any TV series on DVD — unless I wrote and produced it.

Lord of the Yawns

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Even for free, Peter Jackson’s KING KONG isn’t worth the admission price.

Jackson could easily cut an hour-and-a-half from this movie — and, in doing so, perform a service for all of mankind. But I suspect that even at half the running time,  KING KONG would still be an insanely dull and pointless remake (seven hours into the movie, my daughter leaned over to me and asked "Are we there yet?").

The special effects are amazing, I will give Jackson that, but no amount of CGI wizardry can make up for the failings of the story, dialogue and characters.  All the actors, particularly Jack Black, seem completely lost, unsure what they are supposed to be playing. But you can’t really blame the actors. You have to blame the writer/director. The characters aren’t nearly as fleshed out,   interesting, or believable as the CGI monsters. At least you understand why the dinosaurs and insects are doing what they’re doing. During the ordeal, I  also wondered about my own motivation — what the hell was I still doing in the theater? But against all my better judgment, and the pleading of my loved ones, I stayed. I endured.

The movie isn’t even good enough to wow a ten-year-old.  I know,  because my ten-year-old told me so. 

"Spongebob Squarepants is a lot more fun," she said as we finally fled the theater, "and shorter, too."

The Sentinel

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TVShowsOnDVD reports that the first season of THE SENTINEL is coming to DVD (that’s the show about the cop with psychic powers) and that the third season boxed set of MURDER SHE WROTE (that’s the show about the elderly mystery author with hundreds of relatives, all of whom get murdered) will include the cross-over episode with MAGNUM PI (that’s the show about the private eye in Hawaii who lives on an estate owned by a reclusive mystery author).

King Kong

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I haven’t seen KING KONG yet — but Ken Levine has.

What movie did the reviewers see? It was at least an hour too long. The
first hour. Wait for the DVD, skip to “they arrive” and start there,
keeping your finger on the ff button at all times. Trust me, by the
giant insects you’ll be pressing it as if it were a morphine drip.

We were told this was Peter Jackson’s homage to movies. We weren’t told it was his homage to all of them.

I think I’ll wait for the DVD.

Spec-tacular

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Comedy writer Ken Levine gives some wonderful advice on his must-read blog about writing that perfect sitcom spec:

Don’t view the show from the perspective of a fly. I once read a WINGS spec as
seen by a buzzing fly. I offer this as the first example because I know so many
young writers fall into this same trap.

Don’t put yourself into the show
and make yourself the lead character. I once read a CHEERS where Alan had more
lines than Sam & Diane combined. Alan? Who’s Alan? Alan was one of the
extras. And so he remained.

And just because people tell you you look
like Debra Messing doesn’t mean you should write a WILL & GRACE entitled
“Grace’s Sister”. If I get a script with a photo attached I know I’m in trouble.

Don’t hand write your script, no matter how good your penmanship. Send
your spec in a UCLA blue book and you’ll get an F.

Don’t invent a
format.

Know the characters. I read a spec MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW where
Mary wondered what to get her husband for his birthday. Her “husband”???!

Some other things to avoid, at least in drama specs:  the hero’s evil double, the reappearance of long-lost relatives, or the hero getting amensia, going blind, or getting critically injured. It’s also not a good idea to write a spin-off pilot for one of the secondary characters.

Been There, Done That

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Army Archerd finds it "hard to believe" that on two successive nights in Westwood two 2005 remakes
of "vintage pix were preemed." —  CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN and FUN WITH DICK AND JANE.  I don’t know why he’s so shocked. YOURS MINE AND OURS opened a couple weeks ago and KING KONG is opening soon. And in coming weeks, we’ll see movie remakes of  vintage TV shows, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE and MIAMI VICE.  And the studios wonder why movie going is declining… so much of what’s being released is either stuff we’ve seen before   or don’t want to see at all.

Do I Write Scripts or Advertising Copy?

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More and more commercials are creeping into the narrative of TV shows. Here’s an example mentioned in Wired magazine:

The use of product placements has increased 84 percent on television in the last
year, according to the WGA’s call for regulations. "There is no clear line
separating a TV show from an advertisement anymore," said Carrie McLaren, editor
of Stay Free
magazine.

In a recent episode of the NBC series Medium, writers had to
work the movie Memoirs of a Geisha into the dialogue three times
because of a deal the network made with Sony earlier in the season. They even
had the characters go on a date to an early screening of the movie and bump into
friends who had just viewed Geisha to tell them how good it was.

It’s one thing to have James Bond drive a BMW  (or, going back a few decades, Efrem Zimbalist Jr. drive a new Ford around D.C. landmarks each season during the end credits of THE FBI), or Monk using a particular brand of disinfectant wipe, but it’s quite another to create whole scenes purely for the purpose of pushing a particular product. The MEDIUM example strike me as particular egregious…and something a writer should be additionally compensated for.

What to Spec?

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With so few comedies on the air, what sitcom should an aspiring writer spec as a sample of his or her talent? Veteran comedy writer/producer Ken Levine tackles that question this weekend on his blog.

Select a
current show you like and think you know the best. “Current” is the key word
here. Once a show is cancelled the shelf life for your spec is about six months.
So don’t start that ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT you’ve been developing. And I hope you
didn’t pour a lot of time and effort into a spec KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL. When
RAYMOND went off the air everyone was sad but show runners. No more reading
fifty RAYMONDS a day when trying to staff! And for that same reason, please let
this be WILL & GRACE’S last year! The good news is if you’ve got a spec
FRASIER you can just change the names and send it out as an OUT OF PRACTICE. And
of course you never have to worry with a SIMPSONS because they will go on making
new episodes forever…

…Unfortunately, there are not a lot of great shows out there at the moment. What
I think we’ll see this year is everybody writing a MY NAME IS EARL. It’s clearly
the best of the new crop. The only caution I give you is that EVERYBODY will be
writing one. If that doesn’t concern you (or you’ve written it already) I say go
for it. If it does then some suitable alternates might be SCRUBS, TWO AND A HALF
MEN, EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS, or HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (a far cry from the CHEERS,
TAXI, MASH, COSBY days).