Me Me Me

The Man with the Iron-On Badge Kindle-fied

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Badge2 “As dark and twisted as anything Hammett or Chandler ever dreamed up […] leaving Travis McGee in the dust.” Kirkus, Starred Review

 My favorite, and most acclaimed book, THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE, is now available in a Kindle edition. Up until now, this Shamus Award-nominated novel has only been available in a hard-to-find, out-of-print, hardcover edition.

It’s about Harvey Mapes, a 26-year-old security guard who spends his nights in a guard shack outside a gated community in Southern California, reading detective novels, watching reruns, and waiting for his life to finally start. He gets the chance to become a “private eye” when a homeowner asks Harvey to follow his wife. The only problem is, Harvey has learned everything he knows about detective work from mystery novels and “Magnum PI” reruns. Harvey quickly discovers that the difference between fiction and reality could be fatal.

Here’s just a sampling of the critical response:

“Approaching the level of Lawrence Block is no mean feat, but Goldberg succeeds with this engaging PI novel.“ Publishers Weekly 

“A wonderfully fresh voice in the mystery genre, Goldberg will delight fans of Janet Evanovich and Robert Crais,” – Rick Riordan, author of “Percy Jackson & the Olympians”

“Lee Goldberg bravely marches into territory already staked out by some fierce
competition–Donald Westlake, Lawrence Block, the early Harlan Coben–and comes out virtually unscathed.” The Chicago Tribune

“Goldberg has a knack for combining just the right amount of humor and realism with his obvious love for the PI genre and his own smart ass sensibilities. THE MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE is a terrific read. Goldberg is the real deal and should be on everyone’s must read list.” Crimespree Magazine 

“The Man With The Iron-On Badge is a quick, fun read with a satisfying and unexpected ending. Harvey Mapes is a hero I hope we see in a sequel.” — Phillip Margolin, author of “Gone But Not Forgotten”

You Can Become a Kindle Millionaire, Part 14

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Three Ways to Die1  Joe Konrath recently changed the covers for some of his weaker-selling Kindle books and saw his sales shoot up overnight. He suggested that I do the same thing for some of my books and I am following his advice. I just changed the covers for my short story collection THREE WAYS TO DIE and DIE, MR. JURY, my compilation of the four .357 VIGILANTE novels. I'm very curious to see if he's right.

I've also updated THE WALK to include the first three chapters ofDie Mr Jury1l   Joe's novel THE LIST… and MY GUN HAS BULLETS to include a chapter of his book SUCKERS.  He's done the same for me. It will be interesting to see if this cross promotion boosts both of our sales. It could be a month or two, though, before we see a spike, if there is even going to be one, since lot of folks download books as impulse buys and then don't get around to reading them for quite a while.

I have to hand it to Joe, he has been the trailblazer when it comes to exploiting all the possible potential out of selling books on the Kindle. And he's been right more than he's been wrong…and has had the success to prove it. He's on track to earn more than $40K this year in Kindle royalties from stuff that was in a drawer. 

But he's also realistic. He offers some very sobering advice on his blog this week to aspiring authors who think they can follow in his footsteps and by-pass entirely the struggle to get an agent and have your book bought by publisher. Bottom line: you probably can't.

Mr. Monk and the Reader’s Choice

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ELLERY QUEEN MYSTERY MAGAZINE has just announced the winners of their Readers Choice Awards for the best stories of 2009 and I am stunned, and pleased, to discover my Artemis Monk story "The Case of the Piss-Poor Gold" made the list.

First place:
Mike Herron's "Dolphin Junction" tied with Doug Allyn's "An Early Christmas"

Second place:
Clark Howard's "White Wolves"

Third place:
Dave Zeltserman's "Julius Katz"

Fourth place:
Doug Allyn's "Famous Last Words"

Fifth place:
Doug Allyn's "The Valhall Verdict"

Sixth place:
Jack Fredrickson's "For the Jingle"

Seventh place:
Janvillem van de Wetering's "The Bleeding Chair"

Eighth place:
Lee Goldberg's "The Case of the Piss-Poor Gold"

Ninth place:
Lou Manfredo's "Central Islin, USA"

Tenth place:
Brian Muir's "Dummy"

Congratulations to all the winners!

I don’t have rhythm

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Since my surgery on Wednesday, I have been trying to write with my dictation software. It hasn't gone well. Not because of the software, which has been working fine (I am using it to write this post). The problem is me and it's mental. Or maybe tactile. Or both.For some reason, the act of typing is very much linked creatively to writing for me. The dictation software has been fine for things like this post, but for fiction, it has been problematic. My sentences are coming out stilted. The words just aren't flowing. Granted, I have other handicaps working against my creativity now…pain, discomfort, drugs. Even so, I feel like I need the tactile connection/sensation of fingers on the keys to really get into the groove, the rhythm of writing. That rhythm is missing for me without the act of typing. I guess it's like trying to dance while belted into a chair. On the plus side, I seem to be a better speller with the dictation software … at least when the software gets my words right, which surprisingly is most of the time.

Yesterday I wrote an essay for the Edgar Award program and what would have taken me maybe an hour took me a lot longer. It was easier than trying to dictate fiction, though. Maybe with practice I get better at it. I hope to be back typing with my right hand again very soon.

I’m Going Under The Knife

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..and not for the long overdue nose job, pec implants and scrotum lift.

As I mentioned a few days ago, I’m having more surgery on my right arm again today so I may be absent here for a while…

Then again, I said that before my second surgery on my arm a few years back…and I blogged the next day using my dictation software. This blogging thing is an addiction, my friends…or a desperate cry for attention…or both.

UPDATE 2-10-10: thank you for all your kind comments and support.I wasn’t able to watch the surgery this time because my arm was taking too long to numb-up so he had to knock me out.  The surgery lasted a little over an hour and my modest doctor tells me he “performed another miracle” so all is well. My arm is still numb, so I am feeling no pain…yet. I am writing this using my dictation software and am stunned at how accurate it is. Okay, time to go eat some cookies and drink some gatorade.  

This and That

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Sorry I have been missing in action here on the blog lately. Since I got back from NY last week, I have been tied up with various personal matters and rewrites on a spec feature script which, I am pleased to say, now has an A-list movie star officially attached. The star and I are on exactly the same creative wavelength on this project and his notes have really improved the script. 

There were also some projects & gigs that fell through over the last few weeks, which was really disappointing since I put a lot of time and work into them, but it looks like the connections I made in the course of developing/pursuing them may pay off with other assignments in the coming weeks. We'll see. If I got paid for pitches and meetings, I'd a multi-millionaire several times over.

I've been reading lots and lots of plays lately in my new role as co-chair of the International Mystery Writers Festival in Owensboro, KY  and we're closing in on the handful that we'll be producing this summer. More on that later.

I'm also hard at work on my next MONK novel and preparing some pitches for upcoming meetings. I've been offered another series of tie-in novels, based on a hit TV show, and I am considering it, depending on my availability, the details of the deal, and how the deadlines will fit in with my MONK schedule. Speaking of MONK, it looks very likely that I'll be doing a few more books beyond the one remaining on my current contract.  More on that later, too. 

Unfortunately, I've just learned that I'm going to need surgery again on my right arm, which may slow me down some. I had a bad accident a few years back and broke both of my arms, the right one very severely. I've had multiple surgeries on my right arm that left me with about 50% of normal range of motion  and some numbness. Well, the numbness has increased, so they have to go back in and do some work to prevent further damage. I am not looking forward to that…but  I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just didn't think it would be so soon.

Well, that's it for today. Time to dive back into MONK…

Breasts Breasts and More Breasts

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Hot, naked breasts, swollen and aching to be touched by your lips.

That's just one of the delights that the Assistance League of Ventura County is offering at their 15th Annual Authors Luncheon.

We're talking chicken breasts, of course, which will be among the luncheon items offered at the event, which is being held at the Marriott Residence Inn at Oxnard River Ridge on Mon., Feb. 8.

I'll be speaking along with authors Lisa See, Zippora Karz and Diane Worthington. Borders will be selling all of our books at the event. Registration starts at 9:15 a.m., with the program beginning at 10 a.m. Lunch will be served, and a no-host bar will be available. The cost is $50, of which $29 is tax-deductible. Reservations are due by Sat., Jan. 30.

Proceeds from the fundraiser will be used to fund scholarships for five Ventura County college students.

The Assistance League, one of the county’s oldest philanthropic organizations, has been serving the children of Ventura County for 56 years.

Call (805) 643-2458 for more information.

Back in L.A.

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I just got back from a quick trip to New York for the Mystery Writers of America annual meeting and the orientation for new Board members, which is why there have been no new posts from me here and why I've been tardy posting your comments. My wife and daughter came with me, so we squeezed in some sight-seeing, some shopping, a horse buggy ride through Central Park and a Broadway show in between the MWA stuff, and meetings with my editor and my agent. It looks like there's probably going to be more MONK books in my future, so that's good news. I also got some very good news on one of my spec scripts, but it's too soon for me to share more details on that publicly just yet. 

We spotted lots of character actors on the street in NY — mostly bad guys and lawyers from the various versions of LAW & ORDER — and Al Sharpton, who I was surprised to see, since I saw him on CNN on the plane saying he was catching a flight right away to Haiti. 

It's great to be back home and I'm eager to start writing again tonight.

Mr. Monk and the Thrill of it All

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Monk and the Dirty Cop

Chris Well at The Thrill of It All has given MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP some love. He says, in part:

Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop is a real-deal whodunit that will have you turning the pages as Monk puts each clue in its proper place. But at its heart, this isn't just a another book where Monk works through his OCD long enough to solve a murder mystery — it's also a book that challenges some of our preconceptions about the relationships Monk has with Capt. Stottlemeyer and with Natalie. By the end of the journey, we've learned something about these people — and they've learned something about themselves.
Whether you're a fan of the TV show or not, Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop is a gem for any fan of mystery fiction.

Thanks Chris!

Mr. Monk and the Troublesome Review

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Alan Cranis at Bookgasm has flattered me with a rave review for MR. MONK IN TROUBLE. He says, in part:

Once again, Goldberg expertly sails along the fine line of character quirks that make Monk so infuriating, and yet so endearing. His obsessions with order and cleanliness are on full display here. As usual, they are enough to make you want to give up on him completely and leave him to his scrubbing and reorganizing (as the long-suffering Natalie has often done). But, again as usual, Goldberg balances these irritations with enough reassuring humor and sheer crime-solving fun that you find yourself cheering for Monk by the conclusion.

But, wait — there’s more! The author includes several excerpts from Guthrie’s recollections of Artemis Monk and the crimes he solved in the old days of Trouble. These serve as full-fledged short stories within the novel — a sort of “Monk in the Old West” bonus, every bit as entertaining and fun as the present-day story itself.

Thanks, Alan!