I don’t have rhythm

Since my surgery on Wednesday, I have been trying to write with my dictation software. It hasn't gone well. Not because of the software, which has been working fine (I am using it to write this post). The problem is me and it's mental. Or maybe tactile. Or both.For some reason, the act of typing is very much linked creatively to writing for me. The dictation software has been fine for things like this post, but for fiction, it has been problematic. My sentences are coming out stilted. The words just aren't flowing. Granted, I have other handicaps working against my creativity now…pain, discomfort, drugs. Even so, I feel like I need the tactile connection/sensation of fingers on the keys to really get into the groove, the rhythm of writing. That rhythm is missing for me without the act of typing. I guess it's like trying to dance while belted into a chair. On the plus side, I seem to be a better speller with the dictation software … at least when the software gets my words right, which surprisingly is most of the time.

Yesterday I wrote an essay for the Edgar Award program and what would have taken me maybe an hour took me a lot longer. It was easier than trying to dictate fiction, though. Maybe with practice I get better at it. I hope to be back typing with my right hand again very soon.

I’m Going Under The Knife

..and not for the long overdue nose job, pec implants and scrotum lift.

As I mentioned a few days ago, I’m having more surgery on my right arm again today so I may be absent here for a while…

Then again, I said that before my second surgery on my arm a few years back…and I blogged the next day using my dictation software. This blogging thing is an addiction, my friends…or a desperate cry for attention…or both.

UPDATE 2-10-10: thank you for all your kind comments and support.I wasn’t able to watch the surgery this time because my arm was taking too long to numb-up so he had to knock me out.  The surgery lasted a little over an hour and my modest doctor tells me he “performed another miracle” so all is well. My arm is still numb, so I am feeling no pain…yet. I am writing this using my dictation software and am stunned at how accurate it is. Okay, time to go eat some cookies and drink some gatorade.  

You Go, Girl!

Mom's Cover for Amazon  My Mom, Jan Curran, is thrilled about the tremendous reader response that her memoir Active Senior Living has been getting on Amazon, the Kindle Discussion forums, and on the Kindleboard. Here are just a few examples. G Murphy writes:

This is such a heartwarming story. It helps to take the scaryness out of an independant living home. So many seniors have false impressions of the senior homes and negative ideas of living in one. This just confirms to me that having social contacts and friends as you age is so important to a person's well being. The friendships shared in this home give each resident a purpose in life and make living fun. I am 67 and have visited a senior living home in our area as a volunteer. I can so relate to the story in this book as see these people living in the residence in my town. I have told my family for years that this is the kind of place I want to live when I can no longer live alone. Friends and a sense of being needed and loved are such an important part of ones wellbeing. Jan has made us feel like we know each and everyone of these people. I look forward to another book continuing the experiences she is having. I found this book on the Kindle forum page. Good luck to you Jan. I feel I know you.

Lesley Suddard wrote:

I found myself laughing and crying with Jan, reliving her experiences moving in and settling into life at an "Active Senior Living Community", her encounters with the other "inmates", and the sweetness of the interactions with the residents there as they developed bonding friendships. Not only is this an entertaining read, but it is also an enlightening one. With my parents approaching the age where either an independent senior living facility or an assisted one may soon be required, the insights into the advantages and the pitfalls of these facilities provide kind of a guidepost for what to look for when evaluating various alternatives.

Cathy B wrote:

I bought this book for my Kindle yesterday afternoon and stayed up reading until I'd finished it. By the time I was done I felt like I knew all the people Jan met during her stay in assisted living and was as attached to them as she obviously is (and they to her). I am hoping that one day soon she will write a follow-up book so I can find out how all of "my" new friends are doing. After reading this book, I realized that even at 80 or 90 life is what you make of it. Like any other time of life, there are joys and sorrows, smiles and tears. AND there are "kooks" in every age group, LOL. Please, Jan, don't make me wait too long for an update. And give "Ed" and the others a hug from me.

Molly Cook wrote:

You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll recognize human nature no matter how old you are, but if you're over 65, you'll probably recognize yourself and one or more of your friends. Jan is a wonderful writer who can make you laugh and shed tears in the same paragraph. Her personal account of life at "the Inn" and her courage in the face of mounting challenges show us she is the Energizer Bunny of writers. You'll be glad you met Jan Curran!

Kari Johnson writes:

Rarely do I laugh out loud while reading a book. Maybe while at home, but certainly not while reading in public. Today, I'm sure the patrons at the restaurant I lunched at thought I was nuts. Maybe it was reading about Mr. Jones and Carol Channing. Maybe because I can remember so clearly when my grandparents lived in one of these places at all the women swarmed around my very married grandfather, begging him to play the piano and sing with them. It brought back many of my own memories of hanging out with them at their facility. I cannot wait to share this book with my parents. And siblings. And children someday.

Congratulations Mom on touching so many lives with your book!

Author Solutions is No Solution

Author-solutions  Kevin Weiss, the CEO of the vanity press Author Solutions, posted a video on YouTube asking the Mystery Writers of America, Science Fiction Writers of America, and the Romance Writers of America to meet with him to discuss all the ways he's "helping writers."  This from a man who charges writers thousands of dollars to print their book…and then, in the unlikely event they ever sell copies, takes a huge chunk of their royalties, too. Yeah, Kev, that's a big help. Thanks so much.

Author Solutions, incidentally, is the company that Harlequin partnered with to create their own vanity press operation, initially called "Harlequin Horizons" and quickly redubbed DellArte after the announcement created an uproar. The partnership, and Harlequin's practice of referring rejected authors to DellArte (among other things), led to Harlequin being delisted as an Approved Publisher by just about every major professional writers organization out there. Naturally, this disturbs Kev, who is hoping to peddle similar partnerships to other publishers.

Author Shiloh Walker posted a lengthy, and very detailed, critique of his message on her blog. Here's an excerpt:

You talk about open discourse, and honesty and offering choices, yet do you
openly make aware to your `customers' that while they may spend thousands, you
were quoted as saying in the New York Times that the average number of titles
sold through one of your brands was 150? […] The writer shouldn't pay thousands to 'self-publish' and then have to share the profits.

[…] The organizations you're calling out to `discuss' things are the advocates for
writers. Period. A writer that goes in with you is likely to spend thousands
sell…how many books? Unless you can guarantee me four, five figures, (1000
books, 10,000) there's nothing about your company that has me interested in
telling either of my writer organizations, "Hey, maybe these people can offer
choices to those who are seriously pursuing a writing career."

There's no reason for any professional writers organization to meet with Weiss. Their beef is with Harlequin, a real publisher, not with his vanity press. Such a meeting would only give him, by association, the credibility he so desperately seeks. And let's face it, Authors Solutions is not a publisher, it's an outrageously over-priced printer. Nor is it a maverick offering a genuine alternative for authors. In fact, Author Solutions is no solution at all. Banner_Logo  

What he fails to mention in his videos (for good reason) is that an author can print their book in trade paperback or hardcover FOR FREE through companies like Lulu and Blurb (the companies take their share when a book is bought by a reader, but the author sets the purchase price)…or get their books on Amazon, at no charge with no middleman at all, using the Kindle platform. Writers can get everything Author Solutions offers elsewhere with no out-of-pocket expense. (In fact, my Mom just did it with her memoir Active Senior Living. She's made hundreds of dollars in just a few weeks…and isn't out a dime).

Those free alternatives have made companies like Author Solutions totally irrelevant, which is why he is so desperate to create partnerships with major publishers in the hopes of taking advantage of their slush pile. 

However, if the writers organizations succeed in convincing publishers that it's wrong to try to monetize the slush pile and to take advantage of the desperation and gullibility of aspiring authors, then Author Solutions is screwed. That's why Kev is so worried about the Harlequin situation. He already lost big time when Harlequin took their name off their new vanity press venture. He was counting on trading on the Harlequin name, hoping that naive writers would assume that they were being published by the "real" Harlequin. That was certainly the whole point of the venture. But  DellArte carries no such cache…in fact, without Harlequin steering the writers it rejects to the vanity press, it has no reason to exist, nothing to set it apart from all the other over-priced "self-publishing" companies out there.

So is it any wonder Kev is making YouTube appeals? 

UPDATE: Victoria Strauss at the Writer Beware Blog also offers an excellent critique of Weiss' video. She writes, in part:

Will a sit-down, if it happens, be productive? Good question. Part of the objection to the AS/Harlequin/Nelson "partnerships" was the misleading way in which they were presented–seriously overstating the benefits of self-publishing for many if not most authors, using the carrot of possible transition to commercial publishing as a hook to draw in customers–as well as, in Nelson's case, a promise of referral fees for agents who steered authors its way, plus a truly exorbitant cost. Given that high costs and less-than-transparent presentation are at the core of AS's services, I don't think that's likely to change. Also, can there ever be a meeting of the minds between professional commercial writers' groups and a company that wants to present fee-based publishing as an "indie revolution?" Part of the problem, I think, is that Weiss is speaking a different language.

This and That

Sorry I have been missing in action here on the blog lately. Since I got back from NY last week, I have been tied up with various personal matters and rewrites on a spec feature script which, I am pleased to say, now has an A-list movie star officially attached. The star and I are on exactly the same creative wavelength on this project and his notes have really improved the script. 

There were also some projects & gigs that fell through over the last few weeks, which was really disappointing since I put a lot of time and work into them, but it looks like the connections I made in the course of developing/pursuing them may pay off with other assignments in the coming weeks. We'll see. If I got paid for pitches and meetings, I'd a multi-millionaire several times over.

I've been reading lots and lots of plays lately in my new role as co-chair of the International Mystery Writers Festival in Owensboro, KY  and we're closing in on the handful that we'll be producing this summer. More on that later.

I'm also hard at work on my next MONK novel and preparing some pitches for upcoming meetings. I've been offered another series of tie-in novels, based on a hit TV show, and I am considering it, depending on my availability, the details of the deal, and how the deadlines will fit in with my MONK schedule. Speaking of MONK, it looks very likely that I'll be doing a few more books beyond the one remaining on my current contract.  More on that later, too. 

Unfortunately, I've just learned that I'm going to need surgery again on my right arm, which may slow me down some. I had a bad accident a few years back and broke both of my arms, the right one very severely. I've had multiple surgeries on my right arm that left me with about 50% of normal range of motion  and some numbness. Well, the numbness has increased, so they have to go back in and do some work to prevent further damage. I am not looking forward to that…but  I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just didn't think it would be so soon.

Well, that's it for today. Time to dive back into MONK…

Breasts Breasts and More Breasts

Hot, naked breasts, swollen and aching to be touched by your lips.

That's just one of the delights that the Assistance League of Ventura County is offering at their 15th Annual Authors Luncheon.

We're talking chicken breasts, of course, which will be among the luncheon items offered at the event, which is being held at the Marriott Residence Inn at Oxnard River Ridge on Mon., Feb. 8.

I'll be speaking along with authors Lisa See, Zippora Karz and Diane Worthington. Borders will be selling all of our books at the event. Registration starts at 9:15 a.m., with the program beginning at 10 a.m. Lunch will be served, and a no-host bar will be available. The cost is $50, of which $29 is tax-deductible. Reservations are due by Sat., Jan. 30.

Proceeds from the fundraiser will be used to fund scholarships for five Ventura County college students.

The Assistance League, one of the county’s oldest philanthropic organizations, has been serving the children of Ventura County for 56 years.

Call (805) 643-2458 for more information.

Back in L.A.

I just got back from a quick trip to New York for the Mystery Writers of America annual meeting and the orientation for new Board members, which is why there have been no new posts from me here and why I've been tardy posting your comments. My wife and daughter came with me, so we squeezed in some sight-seeing, some shopping, a horse buggy ride through Central Park and a Broadway show in between the MWA stuff, and meetings with my editor and my agent. It looks like there's probably going to be more MONK books in my future, so that's good news. I also got some very good news on one of my spec scripts, but it's too soon for me to share more details on that publicly just yet. 

We spotted lots of character actors on the street in NY — mostly bad guys and lawyers from the various versions of LAW & ORDER — and Al Sharpton, who I was surprised to see, since I saw him on CNN on the plane saying he was catching a flight right away to Haiti. 

It's great to be back home and I'm eager to start writing again tonight.

Don’t Forget Your Dentures

Here's an excerpt from my mom Jan Curran's memoir ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING. It's the list of "house rules" for the dining room at her Active Senior Living facility:

1. No sleeping in the dining room.

2. Please use tissues rather than the cloth napkins for blowing your nose.

3. No baseball caps or other head gear in the dining room.

4. Women should not dine with rollers in their hair.

5. No bare feet.

6. No pajamas, nightgowns or robes in the dining room.

7. No wine service with breakfast.

8. Motorized scooters in designated areas only.

9. Wait staff will not be responsible for partials or dentures left on dining tables.

10. Wait staff will not be responsible for hearing aids left on dining tables.

11. Second helpings on dessert only.

Oddly enough, those are the same rules they have at the CBS commissary.

Active Senior Living

Mom's Cover My mom Jan Curran's "fictionalized memoir" ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING is now available for purchase as a trade paperback or in a download version. Here's the cover copy:

Jan Curran, a vivacious socialite and newspaper reporter, reluctantly moves
into an Active Senior Living complex to recuperate from a brutal battle with
cancer. She tackles the surprises and challenges of her new life with warmth,
wit, and courage, meeting a colorful cast of unforgettable characters in an often hilarious yet profoundly moving story of friendship and hope.

It's the perfect book for anyone you know who is dealing with cancer…or is facing the daunting prospect of moving into a retirement home after a life on their own.

The book will soon be available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You can find out more at the Active Senior Living blog and at Jan Curran's Facebook Fan page.