My Blog

I See a Lawsuit Coming

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Novelist Millenia Black , who is African-American, claims she has been told by her editor to change the race of the characters in her latest book, THE GREAT BETRAYAL, from white to African-American or they won’t publish it. She writes on her blog:

THE GREAT BETRAYAL is a story about secrets. Secrets.
And just how long you can bury them before the past crashes into the
present, with a vengeance. Pretty universal subject matter, yes? I
thought so.  Now, suppose you’d written such a novel, and your
publisher told you that, although it was a dynamite story, they would
not accept it—because the characters were white. The race must be
changed before they’ll publish it!

If this story is true,  I don’t blame Millenia for being outraged.  She believes that she’s being told that as an African-American author she can’t write about whites. They are, in essense, relegating her to a niche market — strictly  "African-American" readers.  Black adds in a comment to her post:

It’s one thing to write to an AA audience. It’s another thing to write mainstream/commercial fiction and be relegated
to an AA audience. The fact that you can’t write a book with
main characters that happen to be white (would have to lie about or
hide your race in order to do so) is the Jim Crow of modern-day
publishing. Enough is enough.

Especially when you consider that nobody has a problem with James Patterson, a middle-aged white guy, writing about a black detective.  But a black woman can’t write about white characters? It’s ridiculous.

UPDATE: Bloggers Monica Jackson, MJ Rose and Edward Champion weigh in..

UPDATE 10-9-06:  She’s suing. Millenia writes:

Career or no career, the genre of a book should not be determined by
its author’s color. An author should not have to lie about his or her
skin color in order to obtain equitable handling by a publisher. An
author’s skin color should not determine where his or her books will
likely be shelved by a bookseller, or whether or not some booksellers
will even order said book. The color of an author should be of no
interest in any acquisition. If they want a book about black people, that’s what should be acquired – a book about black people.

Telling Lies

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Strategicreserve0
Christina York’s latest ALIAS tie-in novel, STRATEGIC RESERVE, just came out and she muses today about the craft of tie-in writing:

Another thing about writing tie-ins.  It takes a lot
of research. You have to get it all right.

[…] But it’s not just the stuff from the
show. It’s all the rest of the world, too. Alias was particularly
challenging, because of the diverse and exotic locations.

In STRATEGIC RESERVE, a good portion of the book was set above the
Arctic Circle, along the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. I have never been about
the Arctic Circle, but I know if I messed anything up, I will hear
about it from a reader or three. So I spent a lot of time looking at
photos on line, studying maps, and reading accounts of people who have
been there.

[…] Writers tell lies for a living. But we try to layer in enough truth
that you believe everything we tell you.

Brown Wins Again

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Publisher’s Weekly reports that my friend Lew Perdue’s case against Dan Brown was thrown out by the Federal Court of Appeals, which confirmed a prior decision by
Judge George Daniels that "no reasonable trier of fact could find the
works substantially similar."

In a statement released today from Random House, which
publishes Brown through its Doubleday Broadway imprint, Doubleday’s
president and publisher Stephen Rubin said: "We are tremendously
pleased that now two Federal courts have found in favor of Dan Brown
and that there were clearly no grounds for the claims against him."

No word yet from Lew’s camp or on his two Brown-related blogs.

Casper, the Friendly Ghostwriter

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Meet the anonymous ghostwriter of OAKDALE CONFIDENTIAL,  a tie-in novel celebrating the 50th anniversary of AS THE WORLD TURNS. He/She has a new blog where he/she talks about the wonderful world of ghostwriting and tie-ins (and no, it’s not me). What’s unusual about this particular tie-in is that the book itself has become a plot point in the  show:

…the characters of fictional
Oakdale USA are going to be all up in arms, wondering who wrote this
scandalous, sexy, anonymous novel. The story will play out on air for
weeks, and eventually lead to many complications in the lives of
Oakdale’s favorite couples. I know who really wrote “Oakdale
Confidential.” But it’s doubtful I’ll ever get the chance to jump up
and down yelling, “Me, me, me, it was me, send the kudos this way!”

I
don’t mind. I knew what I was getting into and I’m proud of my work as
well as the show it’s associated with. But a nameless, faceless writer
needs some forum in which to blow off the steam of keeping their
identity a secret…

[…]In addition to ghost-writing "Oakdale Confidential," I am also blogging as Katie, the on-the-show writer, on Amazon. 

[…]And when I’m not being Katie, I am blogging as Luke, a sixteen year old boy agonizing over how to come out to his parents, the show’s supercouple, Holden and Lily Snyder.

This is one busy ghost.

TV According to Javi

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"All writing for television is pretty much excruciating because I think most of us would much rather be  sitting at home googling ourselves all day than actually writing." 

"It’s very tedious being a writer on the set because all you’re doing is sitting around waiting for someone to hate something. It’s like sitting there with your fire extinquisher waiting for the fire. It’s not fun."

That’s some of the knowledge and truths that my friend Javi, Emmy-award winning supervising producer of LOST imparts in a wide-ranging, informative and very, very entertaining Q&A about TV writing at the University of Michigan. You can watch it for yourself here.

Story Bullshit

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Screenwriter Josh Friedman blogs about the time he was offered the chance by a good friend to write the screenplay for a "go" movie for an International Star.

All I had to do was meet the star, hear
the movie he wanted to make, and nod my head. The job was mine. That
was it. […]

After some small talk, I settled in to hear the movie. What happened
next was forty-five of the most entertaining and annoying minutes I
have ever spent in the film business. International Star stood across
from me and proceeded to act the movie out, giving me examples of
action scenes, stunts, sight gags, etc. He never stopped moving for the
better part of an hour.

And here’s what he kept saying the entire time:

INTERNATIONAL
STAR: So…we have a bar scene first. Maybe…a bar fight? Six men
against me…I’ll balance on a chair like this…take out all six…do
my funny International Star thing…maybe drink their drinks…then we
have some story bullshit…After that…I rescue this girl from…the
whorehouse? Maybe bandits…I’ll do my funny International Star
thing…like with this chair here…Then some story bullshit…and I
find this other girl tied up…there’s a chair gag…then some story
bullshit…

Here’s the conversation I have in the car with my friend afterwards.

FRIEND: So…you’re in, right? It’s fucking awesome, right?
ME: You’ve gotta be kidding me.
FRIEND: What?
ME: Story bullshit? STORY BULLSHIT? My part in all this is…story bullshit?
FRIEND: Oh don’t be so senstiive. That’s just International Star. He’s…international.
ME: He refers to my job as bullshit.
FRIEND: Which is exactly why I need you. You’ll make it better than bullshit.
ME: No way. Not doing it.
FRIEND: You HAVE TO.
ME: I don’t, actually.
FRIEND: I already told him you would.
ME: What!
FRIEND: I told him you’d do it. I told him you were perfect. He’ll take it as a personal affront.
ME: I don’t care.
FRIEND: I stuck my neck out for you. You can’t fuck me like this.
ME: I’m afraid I am fucking you like this.

And so I did.

Two weeks later I got this phone call from my friend:

FRIEND: So. I just wanted to give you an update on the International Star thing.
ME: Look, I’m sorry if I made you look bad–
FRIEND: Don’t worry. I fixed it. We hired someone else.
ME: Good. That’s great. How did you–?
FRIEND:
I told him that I had second thoughts about you. That after thinking
about it I decided you weren’t a good enough writer for the project.
ME: Wow. You’re fucking good.
FRIEND: Aren’t I?

His latest blog post, in late March, refers to his then-upcoming surgery for cancer.  It got him pondering some other "story bullshit" — what his eulogy might be:

I’ve spent the last twenty-five years composing my own eulogy. I’ve
never written it down, never even started it. But I’ve written it a
thousand times in my head. Ever since I was young I’ve been obsessed
with all aspects of my funeral. Who would speak, Who would be
there…What they would say…Where it would be held, what kind of
music would I choose…What kind of food would be served at the
afterparty…I’m an incredibly arrogant sonuvabitch, and it probably
won’t surprise you to know my funeral’s a pretty tough ticket it’s so
fucking crowded with mourners.

I’ve brought myself to tears
dozens of times with this masturbatory/fetishistic reimagining of my
final words washing out over the assembled masses. Sometimes funny,
chiding yet touching, my eulogy at all times insightful and peaceful
and reassuring to the thousands who have gathered to mark the passing
of one of the great unheard voices of a generation.

Words.

My ultimate words.

At the end of the day, why do we write? We write to remember, we write
to be remembered, we write to discover who we are, or determine it for
others. Our words will always outlive us, immortalizing us if not
always powerful enough to make us immortal. Although if we choose our
words well, there will always be a way back to life, a way to and fro
through time. Someone will always feel us like it was yesterday,
someone will smell our skin again, if we choose our words well.

If we choose our words well there need not always be a last. If we choose our words well there will always be a way to find us.

I have chosen my words. They are:

There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.

I don’t know Josh, but I hope his surgery went well and I wish him the very best.

Why Couldn’t the New York Times Have Said This?

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I love it when people stay up all night reading my books. This came today from The Shaudy Life:

For some reason, I am awake. It’s 4 in the am, and I am still awake.
Just got done reading Lee Goldberg’s and William Rabkin’s "Successful
Television Screenwriting." Fabulous book!!! Absolutely amazing! I’ve
never read an industry book that I haven’t been able to put down, even
if it’s a topic I’m really interested in. They’ve got humor and wit.
And they’re a little cynical and neurotic, which makes me more
comfortable with being cynical and neurotic, myself. Fantastic book.

Thanks, Nina!

Maybe I Should Have Gone Into the Furniture Business Afterall…

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It isn’t easy making a living as a writer…and it’s getting harder, as the Independent reports (via POD-dy Mouth). Here are some excerpts:

Publishers have been forced to protect their profits by reducing
costs throughout their businesses. At first this meant redundancies,
consolidation and cutting production costs. But such have been the
rapacious demands of retailers that publishers have been forced to save
money on the riskiest part of their business: books. That’s why authors
are feeling the pinch.

Midlist authors who had sold in steady but unspectacular numbers
felt the impact first. Their sales were undermined by the decline in
library budgets. Once sales to these institutions fell away, they
became far less attractive to large publishing houses, the economics of
which make small books that sell in the few hundreds unsustainable.

Large publishers scythed through their lists.

[…] "The market has shrunk dramatically," says agent Luigi Bonomi.
"Advances are either very big or very small with nothing in the
middle." Orion paid £800,000 for Diane Setterfield’s The Thirteenth
Tale; but according to the Society of Authors, the harsh truth is that
the average advance rarely climbs above £12,000 for a two-book deal,
and authors’ annual incomes are under pressure – the average author
earns less than £7,000 a year.

In a somewhat related item, GRADUATE author Charles Webb is bankrupt.

Charles Webb, the novelist who based the couple on himself and his
long-term female partner, Fred, wrote the basis for a hugely successful
film but made one serious tactical error. He accepted a £14,000 one-off
payment for his work, and then watched the film take £60 million at the
box office. The wise generally go for the percentage, but material
wealth, he says defensively, has never meant much to him. It is just that he could do with some right now.

Webb and Fred, who settled in Britain six years ago after
emigrating from America, received a letter from their landlord last
week telling them to expect an eviction notice because they are two
months behind in their rent. Webb is hoping that a well-wisher will
offer them a place to stay while he finds a buyer for his latest works.

(via Bookslut via The Guardian)

Authors in the Sun

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The Palm Springs Festival of Books is coming this Saturday and features a bevy of bestselling authors (and me).  Authors include Dale Brown, Gregg Hurwitz, Thom Racina, Steve Alten, Loraine Despres, Senator Barbara Boxer, Taffy Cannon, Tab Hunter, Cloris Leachman, DP Lyle, Phyllis Diller, Susan McDougal, Theresa Schwegal, Barbara Seranella, Bill Fitzhugh, Nichelle Tramble, and John Morgan Wilson, to name a few.  But the big event is novelist Christopher Rice in conversation with his mother, international bestselling author Anne Rice. 

I’ll be there talking about medical mysteries with my buddy Doug Lyle, author of FORENSICS FOR DUMMIES, and discussing humor in mysteries with Thom Racina, Taffy Cannon, and JJ & Bette Lamb. The funniest thing about the humor panel is that it’s opposite Chris and his Mom, so I guess the joke is on us. (One year at the Las Vegas Valley Book Fest, I had a panel opposite John Irving in conversation with Roger Simon…guess which of the two events was attended only by me and three homeless people).