Bad Weather

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Let me start by saying, once again, that I consider myself a Robert B. Parker fan. When he's on his game, there's nobody better.

But ROUGH WEATHER is, by far, the worst Spenser novel yet. It's not the worst book Parker has ever written, but it's pretty close to it.  

The story kicks off with Spenser and Susan attending a wedding on a private island that turns into a violent kidnapping. Not a bad teaser into the story, except that neither Spenser, Susan, nor anyone else seems to react much to the extreme violence that they witness. From that point on, the story becomes almost entirely expositional, falling into a pattern that goes something like this:

1) Something happens, though the "something" is usually just a dull, expositional conversation between Spenser and someone else (and if it's a woman, she'd desperately like to sleep with him but he declines).
2) Spenser tells someone else about what happened.
3) Spenser tells someone else about what happened.
4) Spenser discusses what happened again with someone else, or with a group of people.
5) Spenser has another conversation with someone.
6) repeat scenes 2, 3 and 4.
7) Someone tries to beat up Spenser, but the someone is woefully ill-suited for the task and Spenser casually kicks his ass.
7) Repeat scenes 2, 3 and 4.
8) Someone tries to kill Spenser, but Spenser easily kills them first and/or takes prisoners.
9) repeat scenes 2, 3 and 4, and then repeat them again for good measure, since someone got killed or captured.

There are two set pieces — the kidnapping and an attempt on Spenser's life — and the rest is flat exposition. There's more sitting around and talking in this book than in a Nero Wolfe. The plot is obvious, there isn't a single surprise or twist.  The book ended abruptly with the bad guy coming in and simply telling Spenser what we, the readers, have already guessed a dozen chapters earlier. It's like Parker just got tired of writing and arbitrarily decided to stop.

Spenser doesn't actually have to get out from behind his desk in the finale, which is yet another scene of people sitting around and telling us what we already know. Spenser doesn't do anything, or really solve anything. The one benefit is that the book is short, maybe only 35,000 words, if that, so just when you're thinking about giving up, it's already over.

I think this is going to be my last Spenser novel. Parker is a very frustrating author. At times he's great (check out APPALOOSA, DOUBLE PLAY, the early Spensers and the early Jesse Stones) but lately, with the exception of his westerns, he just seems to type. 

I honestly believe if anybody besides an author of Parker's stature and success had turned in a book to an editor as sloppy, dull, and thin as ROUGH WEATHER, it never would have been published.

Beverly Garland

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Actress Beverly Garland died today. She guest-starred on a DIAGNOSIS MURDER episode that Bill Rabkin and I wrote that brought back Mike Connors as Joe Mannix. Connors was quoted in her Los Angeles Times obituary:

"Not only was she a terrific actress, she was one of
those special gals who was fun to work with," said Mike Connors, who
appeared with Garland in director Roger Corman's low-budget 1955 film
"Swamp Women" and later worked with her when she made guest appearances
on his TV detective series "Mannix."

"She had a great sense of humor,
she was very thoughtful and had a great laugh," Connors said. "You
couldn't help but laugh with her when she laughed."

Garland guest-starred in the 25-year-old MANNIX episode that we were using for flashbacks and reprised the same character in our DIAGNOSIS MURDER episode.

I remember calling her and telling her about what we had in mind. She remembered the MANNIX episode, and the character, very fondly — which was amazing, considering the 100s of  TV guest-shots she'd done in her career. She was very exciting about the chance to reprise a character that she'd played so long ago.

We sent her over a tape of the MANNIX episode and when she showed up on set the first day — an apartment in West Los Angeles — she had the character and her accent down cold. It was uncanny…as if she'd played it just yesterday instead of twenty five years earlier. 

She seemed to have a great time, particularly between shots when she was talking about the old days with Connors and Dick Van Dyke. For me, a true TV geek, it was one wonderful just to be able to sit there and listen to their conversation, prodding it along every now and then with a question.

I'm glad I had a chance to meet her and work with her.

Are Canadian Showrunners an Endangered Species?

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A bunch of Canadian showrunners sat down with the Globe & Mail newspaper and shared their worry that they are becoming a dying breed in the TV biz in the Great White North:

They see production companies and network executives interfering endlessly and pointlessly in the direction of certain shows. They say that a series might begin as a drama with occasional moments of comedy, and then, thanks to battles and conniptions in distant offices, by the fifth episode the series has morphed into a comedy.

They worry that hardly anybody in the industry, apart from themselves, understands what the term "showrunner" means (a senior writer with some executive responsibilities). They point out that the best television in recent years – The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Mad Men, The Shield and, in Canada, Intelligence, have been driven by writers who control almost every aspect of a production, but in Canada a writer is almost never allowed to follow through on a storytelling vision.

That may be why so much Canadian TV is — to be blunt — plodding and dull. Or, as a Canadian commentator put it back in 2003…

Why can't Canadians make a decent cop show? It's not as if they don't have examples to copy. You can't turn on the television without finding a cop show on somewhere. […]Like most Canadian TV dramas, Cold Squad is directed as if it were a stage play. The actors emote as if they were trying to make sure buddy in the back row can follow the play. To buddy on the couch, though, the overacting is just annoying.

[On Canadian cop shows] the characters are usually less than persuasive, for example. The characters on Blue Murder articulate as if they were playing Shakespeare.
[…]The actors of course are not helped by scripts which often seem to have been written by people who've been living in monasteries since birth – monasteries with vows of silence, too. The dialogue and situations are often artificial and beyond any help the actors can give them. Canadian scripts also tend to be short on action and plot twists, preferring long, long over-explained scenes. 

I couldn't agree more, at least based on the Canadian dramas that I've seen.

I've produced two U.S. series in Canada — COBRA in Vancouver and MISSING in Toronto — so I've watched a lot of Canadian TV while looking for directors, production designers, and actors. It's no secret why Canadian TV series aren't as marketable or popular worldwide as U.S. or U.K. crime dramas.  It's because they are bland, devoid of strong conflicts, sharply-drawn characters and compelling narrative drive. They just can't compete against U.S. or U.K. drama on any level.  

I know that's a broad and very unfair generalization, and that there may be Canadian shows that are terrific…but I haven't seen one yet.  On the other hand, I've seen a LOT of fantastic British crime dramas, though. It's not that Canada doesn't have the writing talent…it does…but I suspect that their best TV writers head to the U.S. as soon as they possibly can (at least that's what I've been told by my friends toiling in Canadian TV). The Globe & Mail worries about that, too:

What I take away is that they want to stay, to live and write on the
West Coast, and tell their stories there. Given their worries and
horror stories, I fear that, sooner rather than later many will be in
on the West Coast, but in Los Angeles, and they won't be telling
Canadian stories.

Back when I was a writer on MURPHY'S LAW, which we shot up in Vancouver in 1989, I endured some episodes of STREET LEGAL, a wanna-be L.A. LAW that was the "crown jewel" of Canadian TV at the time. It was a series that seemed utterly devoid of conflict. There were shampoo commercials with more gripping storylines and more at stake for their characters.  I couldn't understand how anyone could write a TV show that was so bland…or why anyone would want to watch it.

NIGHT HEAT, made around the same time, managed to make TJ HOOKER look like NYPD BLUE by comparison. MOM PI, TRADERS, DANGER BAY, NEON RIDER, NORTH OF 60, ENG, and DIAMONDS, while not all cop shows, I recall as being mind-numbingly dull.

I've been told many times that DAVINCI'S INQUEST is the best cop show ever made on Canadian TV. I've only seen some early episodes of the series, and one episode of the DAVINCI'S CITY HALL sequel series, and if that is the crown jewel of Canadian crime drama today, it's not saying much for the genre up there.

More recent Canadian cop shows like BLUE MURDER and COLD SQUAD were unbearably ponderous, musty and flat, not even remotely in the same league as U.S. or U.K. dramas. Simply compare COLD SQUAD to the similarly-themed U.S. series COLD CASE or the U.K's WAKING THE DEAD and you'll see what I mean…or compare the Canadian MURDOCK MYSTERIES to the U.K.'s INSPECTOR MORSE, REBUS, or LEWIS. The Canadian stuff feels desaturated, sanitized of color, emotion, drama and energy.

To be fair, I haven't seen INTELLIGENCE, FLASHPOINT or THE BORDER — but I have heard
very good things about them. They may represent a significant
turning point in Canadian episodic crime dramas. I certainly hope so.

Perhaps the problems with Canadian episodic drama all comes down an unwillingness by Canadian networks to commit to the showrunner system, to allow writers with a strong, consistent, artistic vision to run their series. If so, it's a damn shame.

Best Crime Movie in Ages

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Add me to the chorus of people who are raving about THE LAST LULLABY, a terrific, l0w-budget indie crime movie directed by Jeffrey Goodman and starring Tom Sizemore as an insomniac hitman on his last assignment. It's based the novel THE LAST QUARRY by Max Alan Collins, who co-wrote the script with Peter Biegen.  It isn't yet another in a seemingly endless spew of pop-culture-referencing, amped-up, martial-arts, dizzyingly-edited action montages masquarading as movies. This is the real deal, a genuine, character-based noir tale that packs a surprising punch. No bells and whistles. No CGI. No explosions. But plenty of mood, atmosphere, emotion and startling, unromanticized violence. And a touch of romance, too. This is a crime movie for adults who don't have A.D.D.  Goodman says:

"I guess Lullaby is a smattering of things I like," explains its director Jeffrey Goodman.  "If I have combined them in a way that feels fresh I will be happy.  There's a dose of playfulness from the French New Wave, a bit of slowness of some art films, the naturalistic style of early seventies American film, and a strong commitment to narrative taken from film noir.  Yet, in all honesty, more than anything, I just wanted to get away from irony and cynicism and try to put something on screen that was sincere."

He succeeded. Brilliantly. I loved it. Best indie crime movie I've seen since, oh, DIAMOND MEN.

Putting on your Comedy Hat

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Earl Pomerantz has posted another wonderful anecdote from his days writing and producing Major Dad.

I meet with McRaney and his manager to discuss the problems McRaney’s having with the scripts. At some point in the discussion, McRaney’s manager, coincidentally a former Marine, says, “Now, putting on my ‘comedy hat’….”

I, internally, hit the roof, and bang my head against it a few hundred times. I’m not a Marine. I don’t claim, and never have claimed, to have a “Marine hat.” McRaney’s manager had never been involved in a comedy. Where the heck did he get a “comedy hat”!?

If you love tv, you should be reading Earl's blog.

Amazon is taking over the world

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Publisher's Weekly reports that Amazon has purchased Abebooks, the online used bookstore.

AbeBooks, which has over 110 million books for sale listed by independent booksellers, will continue to function as a stand-alone operation based in Victoria, British Columbia.  AbeBooks will maintain all its Web sites, including its Canadian Web site, and all sites will continue to have country-specific content.

On the Road with Mr. Monk

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For a while now, people have occasionally sent me pictures of themselves in far-flung places with one of my MONK books in their hands. If you're out and about, and happen to have one of my MONK books with you, please send me a photo (to Lee AT Leegoldbrg.com) and I will post it here. (That's me with the Naked Bookseller of Quartzite, AZ)

Mr. Monk has a Bookgasm

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Alan Cranis at Bookgasm has given MR. MONK IS MISERABLE a rave review. He writes, in part:

Goldberg realizes the obligations he must fulfill in writing tie-ins, and successfully recreates the rhythms and nuances of the television characters on the printed page. But he never cheats his readers. The scenes are well-researched, and the plot is as inventive and vivid as any original story. Additionally, the author adds just enough interior emotion to give the story depth without sacrificing the energetic pace.

His biggest challenge, as always, is Monk himself. For those with only scant knowledge of the TV series or the characteristics of OCD, Monk might seem like an insufferable asshole. But while staying true to these traits, Goldberg manages to bring our sympathies to Monk, first with the humorous observation of his ever- patient assistant and finally when we see Monk fully involved and secure in what he does best: solving murders.

Goldberg also manages to have some fun with a few traditional mystery techniques. Monk’s sharp-eyed observations and detached explanations are positively Holmesian. And one scene recreates a classic “locked room” murder right out of John Dickson Carr.

But like most tie-ins, the bottom-line mission is to entertain. And Goldberg expertly succeeds here as well. Series fans will find much to enjoy and celebrate. And for everyone else there is a neat, surprisingly literate and well-written mystery starring a most unlikely crime solver.

Thanks, Alan!

Mr. Monk is Miserable Today

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My seventh original "Monk" novel, MR. MONK IS MISERABLE, hits the shelves of bookstores nationwide today. It picks up where my last book, MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY, left off. And I think you should rush out RIGHT THIS SECOND and buy it…or click here.   Here's how the publisher describes the book:

Monk already ruined a trip to Germany for his long-suffering assistant Natalie. The least he can do is accompany her on a detour to France—and try not to ruin that too. In fact, Monk stuns Natalie by announcing that he wants to visit the sewers of Paris. The historic underground maze of pipes and tunnels is famous for making the City of Light sanitary, and to Monk, that’s worth paying tribute to.

The only problem is that their explorations lead them to another hidden world below the Parisian streets: the catacombs, filled with aging skulls and bones. Monk’s sharp eye catches sight of one skull that’s not so old—and that shows evidence of murder—pulling them into a case more twisted than the catacombs themselves. 

I hope that you enjoy it!