My Doctor Is In

There's a new interview with me up at Dr. Doug Lyle's Writer's Forensics Blog. But I should disclose that it's a biased interview…he's an old friend, he's given me medical advice on all of my books and many of my TV scripts, and he's also my doctor. Here's a brief excerpt:

DPL: What’s the hardest part of writing [tie-in novels]?

LG: Capturing the feel of the show, and the voices of the characters, while also kicking things up a notch. You have to offer the reader something more than they are getting from simply watching the show (or the reruns). It’s also difficult, particularly with a long-running series, to come up with stuff that the writers haven’t already tackled.

DPL: You have a new Monk book coming out July 3rd. What can you tell us about it?

LG: The book is MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT and it’s the last book set before the finale of the TV series. This one is set in the midst of the current national economic crisis. The SFPD has to make draconian cutbacks to save money… so they fire Monk as a consultant. Monk figures he can live off his savings for a while. Then Natalie learns that Monk invested his money some time ago with Bob Sebes, the charismatic leader of Reinier Investments, who’s just been arrested on charges of orchestrating a massive $100 million fraud. All of Sebes’ clients, including Monk-are completely wiped out. Monk is broke…he can’t even afford to pay Natalie. So they end up taking all kinds of odd jobs. Meanwhile, when the key witness in the government’s case against Sebes is killed, Monk becomes convinced that Sebes did it, even though the man has been under house arrest with a horde of paparazzi in front of his building 24/7. I hope people have as much fun reading it as I had writing it!

Here Comes the Slush

With so many ways for aspiring writers to self-publish their books, Laura Miller at Salon says the slush pile of millions of rejected manuscripts is about to go public…but will readers have the stomach for it?

People who have never had the job of reading through the heaps of unsolicited manuscripts sent to anyone even remotely connected with publishing typically have no inkling of two awful facts: 1) just how much slush is out there, and 2) how really, really, really, really terrible the vast majority of it is. Civilians who kvetch about the bad writing of Dan Brown, Stephenie Meyer or any other hugely popular but critically disdained novelist can talk as much trash as they want about the supposedly low standards of traditional publishing. They haven't seen the vast majority of what didn't get published — and believe me, if you have, it's enough to make your blood run cold, thinking about that stuff being introduced into the general population.

[…]It seriously messes with your head to read slush. Being bombarded with inept prose, shoddy ideas, incoherent grammar, boring plots and insubstantial characters — not to mention ton after metric ton of clichés — for hours on end induces a state of existential despair that's almost impossible to communicate to anyone who hasn't been there themselves: Call it slush fatigue

So what happens to the book business when readers, who've filled their Kindles with $1.99 slush, discover that most of it is unreadable drivel? What will the backlash be?

A few days of reading bad manuscript after bad manuscript has a tendency to make you never want to pick up another manuscript again, but when finding new talent is your job and your vocation, you keep at it until you're successful enough to hire someone else to do it for you. If, on the other hand, you're a civilian, and reading is something you turn to, seeking fun or transcendence, during your precious hours of free time, how long will you persist when book after book has exactly the opposite effect, crushing your spirit instead of refreshing it? How long before you decide to just give up?

Some argue that readers and bloggers will spread the word about what is good or bad, and the market will become self-correcting. The sludge will quickly be identified, as well as the few genuinely terrific books buried amidst it all. But Miller argues we are just trading one set of gatekeepers (publishers, editors, "elite" literary critics) for a new set (bloggers, pundits, self-annointed experts).

Perhaps this system will work better, but I'm not so sure. Contrary to the way they're often depicted by frustrated authors, the agents and editors I've met are in fact committed to finding and nurturing books and authors they believe in as well as books that will sell. Also, bloggers or self-appointed experts on particular genres and types of writing are, in my experience, just as clubby and as likely to plug or promote their friends and associates as anybody else. Above all, this possible future doesn't eliminate gatekeepers: It just sets up new ones, equally human and no doubt equally flawed. How long before the authors neglected by the new breed of tastemaker begin to accuse them of being out-of-touch, biased dinosaurs?

The Other Side of the Coin

Dancing-dark-175  A few days ago, I talked about how successful Joe Konrath has been on the Kindle and I argued that he's an exceptional case. Well, now author Mark Terry shows us the flipside. He's put five books on the Kindle, a mix of out-of-print and unpublished stuff. So farthis month he has sold 30 books and earned $29. And that's an uptick on his previous month's sales. He writes, in part:

Honestly, I don't know what to make of Joe's success. Joe says he doesn't know why some of his e-books sell great and others don't. I don't know why DANCING IN THE DARK sales seem so sluggish even though it's been out for months.

[…]I'm pretty unsold on the idea of people who can't get traditionally published just e-publishing, but a number of people have done it successfully. Maybe it all depends on what you want out of it.

Let's put it this way. On the basis of what I've seen so far, I'm still leaning strongly toward traditional publishing venues.

People who look at Joe's success or, to a far lesser degree, mine publishing books on the Kindle and think that our sales are the norm are in for a rude surprise…particularly if they don't already have an established following or strong name recognition. Sure, there might be a handful of exceptions out there, but that's what they are, the exceptions. Sadly, I believe Mark's experience is closer to the norm for the majority of authors self-publishing their work for the Kindle.

Writing is Rewriting

JP-UPDIKE-1-thumbWide  The New York Times takes a peek at the John Updike archive at Harvard University and examines the various drafts he did of the first few paragraphs of RABBIT AT REST:

Though he was known and envied for writing rapidly and easily and revising very little — a reputation he encouraged — the archive demonstrates the painstaking care he took to establish the tone and atmosphere of his novels.

Cartons deposited in the early 1990s offer a synoptic map of “Rabbit at Rest,” the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel that concludes the earthly transit of Harry Rabbit Angstrom, the former Pennsylvania high school basketball king who remains Updike’s most famous creation.

An Eagle Typing box contains a handwritten draft, completed in January 1989. Hurried on to the page (in pencil on the back of the typescript of a previous book), the flowing sentences are constellated with crossings out, insertions and circled text as Updike honed, phrase by phrase, the middle-American idiom and the hurtling present-tense that are signatures of the Rabbit cycle.

So numerous were the emendations to the opening scene, set in a Florida airport, that Updike stapled a typed page to the handwritten draft, in which the initial paragraphs are thoroughly resequenced to create an effect less linear and more interior. Further reworking the opening paragraph, to draw out its theme of impending death, Updike made subtly significant improvements.

“The sensation chills and oppresses him, above and beyond the air-conditioning,” he had first typed. Retouching by pen, he tightened the phrasing and also inserted an inspired pun: “The sensation chills him, above and beyond the terminal air-conditioning.”

But the best part of the Times piece is this link that shows the actual drafts, from his handwritten scribbles to the typed manuscript. It’s fascinating stuff. And that’s not all. There’s also a link to a video interview with Updike filmed shortly before his death.

Speaking for the Dead Again

51zjxs9bGtL._SS500_ My buddy Paul Levine has brought To Speak For the Dead and Night Vision, the first two books in his acclaimed and beloved Jake Lassiter series, back in print in new Kindle editions. The rest of the books in the series will soon follow. These books are a steal at $2.99… and all the proceeds from the sale of To Speak For the Dead will go to the Four Diamonds Fund, which supports cancer treatment for kids at Penn State Hershey Children’s Hospital. So what are you waiting for?

Mr. Monk and the Nice Reviews

Mr. Monk und Mr. Monk

Now that the paperback of MR. MONK IN TROUBLE has come out, I've been getting a second wave of nice reviews for the book. For instance, here's a sampling of what Dana Mentink had to say on her blog

This book is a combination of satisfying mystery, hilarity and a shade of poignancy which is the flip side of Monk’s OCD. The reader is made aware every so often, that Monk’s gifts do not come without a price and at the core he is a lonely, frightened soul. Because he has Natalie, we can enjoy the fact that he cannot cut a pizza unless he’s brought along his string, compass, T square and level.

The fine folks at Gelati's scoop like the entire book series and say, in part:

The nice part of the novels for me is that Goldberg allows us to get inside the mind of Natalie as she helps Monk through the crisis du jour. Stottlemeyer, Disher, Natalie, & Monk take us on adventure after adventure through the course of the book series. Monk has gone to such locations as Hawaii, France & Germany. I found those installments to be some of Goldberg’s best work with the characters. Monk rarely leaves San Francisco, so I enjoyed the situations the cast of characters endured as Monk was being Monk, going on planes, trains and staying in different hotels (even numbers are a must). I think that through his narrative, Goldberg not only continued the characters’ story lines for us, but enhanced it and made them more enjoyable, believable, likeable and endearing.

And there's this rave of the German edition, MR. MONK UND MR. MONK from Swabian Touring Theatre. He says, in part and roughly translated:

When I heard this book was going back to 1850s, I was a little worried about how it would work. I should not have been. The flashbacks fit in seamlessly with the story and adds a whole new level of humor to the events. As always, the characters are sharp and the humor is wonderful. I laughed loudly and repeatedly. Nevertheless, there were some subtle character moments that made me really see things in a new light.

Thanks to all those bloggers for the great reviews!

Read Me a Story

Lee-Cole-Tod Every author should be lucky enough to hear their story read by a professional actor. It makes you appreciate nuances of character, and feel the "beat" of the story-telling, in ways that sometimes doesn't come across on the page.  It's one reason I enjoy listening to the audiobook versions of my MONK books — they feel new to me even though I wrote them.

Tonight I went to WordTheatre's presentation of three short stories: TC Boyle's Three Quarters of the Way to Hell, James Salters' Such Fun, and my brother Tod Goldberg' s Walls. Gary Cole read Walls, Carla Gugino read Such Fun, and Gugino & Adrian Pasdar read Three Quarters of the Way to Hell. Cugino was the stand-out of the three actors, truly enlivening and enriching what she read, particularly in Boyle's story (where she was much stronger than the material she was reading). I am too close to Tod's story to be objective about it, but I thought Cole made some interesting choices, not all of them successful, but he still illuminated aspects of the story that I hadn't seen in the quite same way before, either when I read it or when I'd heard Tod read it. 

That's me, Gary Cole, and my brother Tod in the picture (you can click on it for a larger view, though it's hard to imagine me or Tod any larger than we already are). Cole and I chatted about a bit about MIDNIGHT CALLER — he can't understand why the show hasn't come out on DVD yet. I said there's no logic to how those decisions are made… if there was, utter shit like Dom DeLuise's flop sitcom LOTSA LUCK wouldn't be on DVD. Is there anybody who wants to see Dom DeLuise for God's sake?

Naturally, Michael DeLuise was sitting right behind me.

Antiques Roadshow – Behind The Scenes

47122533 If, like me, you're a fan of the Antiques Roadshow, Marsha Bemko's book provides a fascinating peek behind-the-scenes. And even if you're not a fan, but simply love antiques, Antiques Roadshow: Behind the Scenes is full of great anecdotes and tips that will help you in your collecting. And if you aren't a fan of the show, or an antique collector, but are a student of television, you'll find this book packed with interesting producing info on the making of a reality series. There aren't many books about TV shows that can satisfy on so many levels and also be a pleasure to read — but this one succeeds.

The book is written by AR's executive producer, who tells you how the series evolved, what you should (or shouldn't) bring to have appraised, how they decide which cities to visit and which appraisals they will put on the show. But that's not all. Bemko gives you deep background on all of the popular appraisers… and, as a bonus, gets them to share some tips on how to hone your own collecting skills. No book about AR would be complete, or satisfying, without a recap of some of their most memorable moments — fleshing out what happened before, during, and best of all, after the appraisal. This is a breezy, informative and highly entertaining must-read for Antiques Roadshow fans.

Murder on the Boob Tube

41MvsvCsbML._SS500_  I love TV reference books, but John William Law's MURDER ON THE BOOK TUBE is, to put it bluntly, terrible in every way, factually worthless and devoid of any fresh information or thoughtful insights. The listings are superficial and generic to the point of uselessness and riddled with typographical errors and inept sentence structure.

Here are some examples from his listing for MANNIX. The typos are his, not mine:

"The show started off one one path, but changed courses after the first season and never strayed much after that."

"With less than spectacular ratings in season one, the changes were hoped to bring new live to the fledgling series"

"The showed featured an unsolved MANNIX case and use flashbacks of the original series along with present day Mannix back on the case"

And here's another example of his poor writing and proofing skills from his listing for IRONSIDE. Again, the errors and lack of punctuation are his, not mine:

"While the original series took place in San Francisco, little of the show was actually filmed there with some early location filming of the actors in popular locations and the footage would be intersperse through-out the season."

And, finally, here's an example from his listing for ELLERY QUEEN:

"At one point there were rumor's the younger Hutton might reprise his father's most famous character for a TV movie, but the closest he came was as the star of his own mystery series based on another famous detective when Timothy Hutton starred in A NERO WOLFE MYSTERY in 2001-2002."

The author hasn't done any meaningful research, hasn't interviewed anybody, and the "rare photos" he uses are merely amateurishly cropped, black-and-white scans of TV Guide covers. It's embarrassing and not worth $1, much less $14.95.