On Other Blogs

Author Sarah Strohmeyer talks about what she used to do for her husband all the time…but isn’t doing much lately.

I am speaking, of course, of that act one does for another in which
most of the sexual gratification goes to one partner. Oh, sure, you can
argue there’s some satisfaction for the provider. But let’s be honest.
One half gets all the treats. That’s why they call it a job.

When my husband and I were dating, I would impulsively perform this
act wherever, partially for the thrill of seeing the pure shock on his
chiseled face. Here he was, Ohio born and raised, an active member of
the Episcopal Church, a graduate of a staid all-boys school, and I was
doing this to him in a parking lot! The woods in broad daylight! On
Shaker Boulevard!

And he never had to ask. It just happened. I was like the magic girlfriend. Yippee!

In fairness, I never promised that this would be a permanent part of
our relationship. But was I going to point this out when he slipped
onto my finger a diamond-and-emerald ring with gold filigree (that he
designed)? Hell no.

This anecdote prompted author Harley Jane Kozak to reveal:

My husband, when we were dating, came to see me in Lincoln, Nebraska,
where I was doing a play one summer. I took him to Lincoln’s landmark
building, the state capitol, AKA "The Penis of the Plains" . . . and in
view of its nickname, and because we found a hallway on a floor that
seemed to have no occupants …

I can’t wait for more blow-by-blow accounts.

Author Tess Gerritsen has a terrific post on her blog about aspiring writers who want her to read their manuscripts… and get pissed off when she doesn’t.

If I were to say yes to every unpublished author’s request, I
wouldn’t have time to write my own books. And truly, I’m astounded that
people whom I don’t know, or hardly know, would come up to me and
essentially ask, "Say, will you spend eight hours reading my incredible
literary work?" Because that’s what it works out to. Eight hours of
work.

And if you don’t see my point, think about this. What if someone you
barely know says to you: "Hey, wouldn’t you love to come over and spend
eight hours cleaning my house?"

You’d tell them thanks, but no thanks.   

Which will then earn you the resentful comment: "But you OWE it to me
because your house is so clean! Your clean house makes you OBLIGATED to
help me!"

If the person asking me to clean their house is my mother or an elderly
friend, you betcha I’ll go over and help clean the house.

Same with reading manuscripts.  Mothers and close friends get special dispensation.   

But when I hear unpublished authors whine that published authors are
OBLIGATED to help them get published, that’s when my blood goes from
simmer to boil.

I’m not in Tess Gerritsen’s league, but I get asked by strangers all the time (mostly by email) to read their books,  scripts and series ideas… and to pass them on to my agent…or pass them on editors and producers…and they are furious when I politely decline (apparently, there is no polite way to say no to these people). I’m willing to bet just about every published author or produced screenwriter can relate to this.