Lee Goldberg

Make Me A Star

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Today I got two emails from two different people, both hoping for the same thing, that they could use me to achieve their dreams of success in Hollywood. This first email came in under the subject heading "I Have Some Great Screenplays!" (The names, addresses and phone numbers have been removed, otherwise the emails are untouched):

Hello Mr. Lee Goldberg my name is XYZ but people call me Hollywood.
I have three great screenplays ready to be shoot and I am working on my forth
one which should be done in a month or so.  If you would like to know more about
my scripts please give me a call at XXX-XXX-XXX or email me at
XXX@hotmail.com thank you for your time.

I responded:  Hello Mr. XYZ, my name is Lee Goldberg, but people call me Pierce Brosnan. Why would I be interested in your screenplays? I’m trying to sell my own. 

I received a polite email from a guy on the East Coast who says he has a great idea for an episodic legal drama:

Though I spend a great deal of my time developing and
selling creative concepts (for direct marketing applications), I’m not a script
writer.  I’m contacting you because I’m looking for a talented television writer
with industry credibility that might be interested in partnering to develop a
pilot. If you are interested in exploring this or know of a
writer who might be,  please let me know.

I get this offer several times a week from people outside the industry who have "great ideas" but just need a guy like me to partner up with.

To be blunt, why would I want to do that? What’s in it for me? I’ve got lots of ideas of my own and all you’d be doing is benefitting from my experience, my "industry credibility,"  and years of hard work. What do you bring to the table? An idea.  Sorry, but that’s not enough.

There’s a saying in television, ideas are cheap and execution is everything. The networks  don’t buy ideas, they buy ability, experience, point-of-view, and a track record.  LOST is not a great idea — People shipwrecked on an island. It has been done a hundred times before. What ABC bought was hit-maker JJ Abrams doing people shipwrecked on an island.  NYPD BLUE is not a great idea. It’s cops in NY solving crimes. What ABC bought was Steven Bochco doing cops in NY solving crimes.  They also bought the proven ability of JJ Abrams and Steven Bochco to write and produce a series.

I know… that’s what you need me for, right? You need my "industry credibility" and "talent."
But here’s the thing: there’s absolutely no upside in it for me, or any other established writer-producer, partnering up with you.  We didn’t work for years to establish "industry credibility" so someone else without any could take a shortcut and ride on our coat-tails.

If you were a bestselling novelist with an idea, that’s something else. You have something to offer beyond an idea.  You bring your name,  reputation, and proven track record as a storyteller. If you were a  famous actor, that’s something else. You bring your image,  your fans, and proven ability to draw a large audience.  If you were an ex-D.A., and your idea draws on your background in the field, then you have something to offer. You bring years worth of courtroom experience  and credibility in the field (for instance, I’ve partnered with cops before to pitch ideas based on their unique experiences).

I think you get my point.  Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not interested.

Fanfic as Folklore

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Diane Werts, a terrific TV columnist and feature-writer, wrote about fanfic this week and champions a view very different than my own:

Fan fiction has become a booming hobby, with millions of stories written for
cyberspace by ordinary consumers of TV shows, movies, books, even video games.
"Fanfic" recycles well-known characters by taking them down fresh paths,
recounted in epic-length chronicles, 100-word "drabbles," explicit character
vignettes and crossovers between completely unrelated series. The reimaginings
use existing entertainment icons to present an alternative mythology to the
"official" version – a modern grassroots folklore subverting corporate control
of "intellectual property."

I wouldn’t characterize KIRK/SPOCK slash as "grassroots folklore," but I certainly agree that it’s "subverting corporate control of  intellectual property" as well as the authors intellectual property rights (something she makes only passing reference to in her piece).

Diane definitely sees fanfic as something positive and buys heavily into the romanticized notion of  fanfic as modern-day folklore, continuing traditions began around the campfire centuries ago. Obviously, I don’t agree… but since Diane and I are friends, and my views on fanfic are hardly a secret,  I’ll leave it at that.

C’mon, Get Happy

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I was trading emails with my agent yesterday when it occurred to me that I have a lot of books coming out in the next 12 months. Here’s what’s coming…

August 2005 – DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE PAST TENSE
November 2005 – THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE
January 2006 –  MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE
February 2006 – DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE DEAD LETTER

The only one of those four books that’s hasn’t been delivered to the publisher yet is the MONK, but it will be in two weeks (it has to be or an enforcer from Penguin Putnam will show up at my door and break my kneecaps).  In February, I’m hoping to go on a book tour along with my brother Tod, and my sisters Linda Woods  and Karen Dinino, who will also have new books out.  Maybe we can get a bus like the Partridge Family had…

Selling Fanfic to Publishers

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Seaquest2032_aI received an email today from a guy who writes fanfic in "the SEAQUEST universe" and would like to see it published as novels. Here’s part of what he wrote me: 

We see novels based on other universes published all the time. Be they
the Extended-Universe Star Wars novels written by people like Timothy
Zahn or the Star Trek novels which go largely uncreditted by Paramount
studios, and they seem to do fairly well. Do you have any tips on how
I may actually go getting Atlantis published? Obviously there would be
copyright issues that need to be resolved with Universal studios and
so on, but I don’t have the foggiest on where to begin!

First off, your initial premise is wrong: Paramount maintains rigid control over the STAR TREK novels as does Lucasfilm over the STAR WARS books.

I would say it would be impossible to get Atlantis, your SeaQuest-derived work, published and it would be an utter waste of time to pursue it. But, for the sake of argument, you would have to contact Cindy Chang at Universal Licensing in Los Angeles for permission to shop it around. Then whatever publisher you found would have to pay Universal a license fee to publish your work.

There are two ways that licensed novels are usually pursued.

1) The studio offers their TV or movie property to publishers.
2) a publisher contacts a studio and says they are interested in a particular property, what would it cost to license it?

In either case, the studio is paid a license fee, receives royalties, and usually maintains creative control over the property (ie they can approve or reject writers, stories, manuscripts, etc.).
For instance, in my case, Penguin/Putnam had tremendous success with the MURDER SHE WROTE novels (licensed from Universal) and wanted to come up with a companion series that would appeal to the same audience. So they approached Paramount and licensed DIAGNOSIS MURDER from them, then they came to me to write the books (though I had to be approved by Paramount first). I am paid an advance and a royalty. Paramount, in addition to the license fee, also gets royalties.  All my manuscripts are read, and approved, by Paramount before they are published.

My advice to you is to move on. It’s time to write something original…and to put your efforts into getting that published instead.

Marmaduchy

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I was doing research on the cartoon strip "Marmaduke," the huge dog, for my MONK novel (Monk loves Marmaduke), when I stumbled on this entertaining discussion of fandom at Websnark. He illustrates his ideas by describing what Marmaduke fandom might be like:

The Marmaduke fandom, on the other hand, spends a significant amount of time
on the Marmaduke forum (the Marmaduchy, let’s call it). They have many different
discussions on Marmaduke, and on things that have nothing to do with Marmaduke
— to the point that the Marmaduke forum moderators had to create a specific
topic for off-topic posts, and have to kick folks there whenever they stray.
They trade LJ icons and forum avatars based on Marmaduke art. They collect pithy
Marmaduke sayings. They affirm each other and their common love of Marmaduke,
and they find close friends through Marmaduke — friends that mean a lot to them
far beyond Marmaduke. This is what the Marmaduke Fandom has given them, and it
means everything to them.

The idea, for many of the Marmaducets and duchesses (so clever, those
Marmaduke fans — the guys naming themselves after currency and the girls making
a delightful play on Marmaduke’s name), is not so much the individual Marmaduke
strips themselves, but the zeitgeist of all that is Marmaduke. It’s the
attitude. It’s how Marmaduke makes them feel, and how much they can amplify that
feeling in the company of others. It can be terrifically empowering and it can
be terrifically satisfying. Right here, in this little community on the
internet, Marmaduke is the coolest thing around, and by showing your love for
Marmaduke, you’re cool too. And as for Marmaduke-creator Brad Anderson? The
Marmaduchy provides feedback and, more importantly, validation. It’s damn hard
to be a cartoonist — or a creator of any stripe. It takes effort and ego and
skill and talent, and you spend a huge amount of time wondering if anyone gives
a fuck. The Marmaduchy tells Anderson "yes. Yes, we give a fuck. We give many
fucks. In fact, if you want us to, several of us will in fact have sex with you
if you want, because you have brought so much pleasure to our lives that we
would dearly love to repay you."

The  dark side of fandom, he says, is Fan Entitlement, which he describes like this:

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Help Wanted: Humans Only, Please

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Today, I received this email from Wayne Manzo. 

I would like to produce a weekly investigative news program based on my
research and web magazines.

The show will be investigative news but
from a different angle__that we humans are living with ET and it is the
aliens that are controlling our human reality.

I need humans who are
interested in getting involved in the pre-production logistics of this
type of program.

Contact me in interested.

Wmanzo@yahoo.com

Since he’s interested only in working with humans and I am Glarp, alien recon-leader from the planet Glorp, I didn’t reply.

Jag Rag

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I received this email today. I’d reply, but I have no idea what she’s asking or why she’s asking me.

Yes, we have heard that tonight is the last night for the program of JAG, with Harmon Rabb and the other characters.  And we’d like to know what’s what with that program.  And if so, we want to make sure that we’re home to see it. For we have really enjoyed that show and wished that Harmon and
Mac could have gotten married or at least could have had that baby that they had talked about in the show.  But I guess that never happened.  My email address is:

Sunday at the Book Festival

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Things were relaxed at the Book Festival today…perhaps because it was chillier and cloudier than in past years. I signed at the Mystery Book Store with Michael Gruber (yes, that Michael Gruber), who autographed a copy of his new childrens book for my daughter Madison. We had a very pleasant chat and neither one of us discussed ghost-writing.  Also at that signing were my friends Paula Woods and Charles Fleming.  Afterwards, I chatted with my friends Victor Gischler (who sported a bushy new beard), Scott Phillips, Terrill Lee Lankford, Jan Burke, and a number of other authors, booksellers and mystery fans.   I also got the chance to meet Seth Greenland,  who has written a highly-acclaimed, dark comic book about TV entitled THE BONES.  For obvious reasons, I’m really looking forward to reading it (I’m sending him copies of MY GUN HAS BULLETS and BEYOND THE BEYOND for his amusement).

My brother Tod’s panel on short stories, which featured folks like Aimee Bender and Steve Almond,, was packed with people and was very entertaining…though perhaps not as much as the panel of  LA Times Book Review editors past-and-present.  I didn’t attend the Steve Wasserman panel, but enjoyed reading The Elegant Variations’ play-by-play. I liked Digby Diehl’s comments, particularly this one on Wasserman’s view that the LATBR is playing to a national audience:

Diehl thought national and international aspirations were "ridiculous … ultimately the L.A. Times failed in San Diego!"

Wasserman also compared the LATBR to a dinner party at his house. What can we learn from this? If you’re invited to dinner at Wasserman’s house, bring plenty of NO DOZE.

 

 

Writers University

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Want to learn how to break into television? Sure you do.  Everybody in L.A. does. Well, I’ve got some good news for you. William Rabkin and I will be teaching our thrill-packed four-week online course "Writing Dramatic Television" again, starting on May 2 (and again on June 6), for Writers University.  What do you get for your hard-earned bucks? Here’s an excerpt from the course description:

You will learn—and practice— the actual process involved in
successfully writing a spec episodic script. You will learn how to analyze a TV show and develop
“franchise”-friendly story ideas. You will develop and write a story
under the direction of the instructors, who will be acting as
showrunners… and then, after incorporating their notes, you will be
sent off to write your outline. Finally, you will develop and refine
your outline with the instructors, leaving you at the end of the course
ready to write your episodic spec script…the first step in getting a
job on a TV series. 

There’s an "early bird" discount of 20% for people who enroll ten days before the course.  For more information, click here.

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