Lee Goldberg

If This Is An Example of How He Writes Press Releases, I think I’ll Pass

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I got this spam email today from a PR firm. Here’s how it began:

Dear Mr. Golgberg:

I would like to make you aware of my public relations company as I
feel I could be a perfect fit for helping you promote and publicize your company
as well as your books.  My clients have been featured in publications numbering
Parade Magazine, People, Entertainment Weekly, Time, Forbes, Wall Street
Journal, Newsweek, and USA Today; as well as television shows such as Oprah,
Good Morning America, C-SPAN, CNN, CNBC, etc.

A real grabber, isn’t it? Now imagine what he writes for his clients.  (That’s aside from how he  messed up my name and offered to publicize a company that I don’t have).

Search Me II

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Here are some of the searches that brought people to this blog today…

NippledroppearlsNinya Perna Sex (Who is "Ninya Perna?")
Jeri Ryan Encino  (Is someone trying to find out where she lives?)
Jenna Lewis Sex Tapes (Jenna who? People still remember her?)
Celebrity Nipples  (Would Jenna’s nipples qualify as celebrities?)
Hunter + McCall Slash Fanfic
Brothers Grimm Slash Fanfiction
Pernell Roberts (Odd..no one is asking about his plastic surgery, his nipples, or looking for slash fiction with him and Little Joe)
Lara Flynn Boyle Plastic Surgery (Nipple implants, no doubt)
White Wash + Ian Ludlow (this one aroused my curiosity)
Orlando Bloom + Mpreg
Reunion+ reality+sucks + Fox
Chicken Pot Pie
Worst Novel Opening Lines
William Shatner Plastic Surgery Hoax
Karina Lombard Nipples (what is it with this nipple obsession on the web?)
Lindsay Lohan Nipples (I knew that would get me hits!)

On the Road Again

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Zoegun5Yesterday, I kicked off a schedule of promotional events (that stretches into March 2006) by signing at The Mystery Book  Store and Mysteries to Die For with my friend Zoe Sharp, who is in the states from the U.K pushing her hot new novel FIRST DROP. She was accompanied by Andy, her swarthy body guard, photographer, sex slave, pack-horse, chauffeur and doting husband. We had a wonderful time meeting readers, chatting with booksellers and hanging out. My daughter Madison strong-armed Zoe into buying a copy of her book
ADVENTURES OF KITTY WONDER #2: LOTS OF KILLING and at Mysteries to Die
For, Andy test-drove the owner’s new Lexus hybrid. Zoe will be posting some pictures of our whirlwind L.A. tour on her website.  You can also check out her road-trip blog.

Here’s a story of a man named Brady

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I make the mistake of joking about  Partridge Family slash fanfic and what happens? My brother Tod finds this:

"Greg. Greg Brady." Greg proffered his hand to be shaken and Keith [Partridge] held onto it a little too long.

"You’re touring with us, right?"

"Uh huh." Greg licked his lips and wondered why his pants suddenly felt so tight.

"We should be getting ready."

"Yeah." Greg shook himself out of his reverie and said, "You have nice hair."

"Thanks. So do you."

"Maybe we could–" Greg started tentatively.

Keith smiled slowly. "I know a place."

"We could get caught. I mean–" Greg’s cheeks flamed bright red and he ducked his head to avoid Keith’s probable scrutiny.

"Not if we hurry. Come on."

Keith knew where all the dark places to hide were. He had to. He had an
overprotective mother and more siblings than he could count.

Raves for Tod

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The litblog Bookslut loves Tod’s new book SIMPLIFY:

Simplify captures a wide range of emotions and style in his debut
collection of short stories. Goldberg has thought a lot about the human
condition and the way our hearts and minds define us. He is effortlessly
brilliant with his pared-down prose and attention to detail. In a society that
is disinclined to contemplate our own deaths, Goldberg hits it head-on with no
qualms or fluff. His stories will provoke and startle you. There is a distinct
balance in each of his stories, giving just enough humor, thought and sincerity
to the entire collection. It’s rare to find a book that can evoke such strong
emotions within a single collection, however, Tod Goldberg’s Simplify
is a force to be reckoned with.

Will the price of gas affect what studios pay for spec scripts?

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I had this  email exchange today:

I am wondering how much of an affect does the current state of the country will have on Holly Wood when it comes to buying scripts?

I replied:

Not to be dense, but I don’t understand your question. Do you mean the
economy? The war in Iraq? The hurricane in New Orleans? And what do you
mean by affect? The kinds of stories Hollywood will or won’t buy? The
money they are paying for specs?

He replied:

I apologize for not being specific. I was talking about everything you
mentioned including the high gas prices.  Will these events have an
affect on the number of scripts Hollywood will purchase for this year?
Will they have an affect on the purchasing price for the scripts they
do buy?

I replied:

That is such a broad question, I couldn’t possibly answer it. I have no idea if all the events in the world today — economic, political and social — will affect the number of scripts Hollywood buys or what they pay for them.  But I want to be helpful, so  here’s some advice: Don’t write a script about a private eye who can communicate with plants. I think a story like that wouldn’t do well no matter what is happening in the world today.