Mr. Monk and the Two Assistants Returns…

Monkandtwoassist
The paperback edition of MR. MONK AND THE TWO ASSISTANTS comes out in bookstores nationwide today.  The book got some very good reviews, like this one from the Weekly Journal in Angleton, Texas:

"Even if you aren’t familiar with the TV series "Monk", this book is too funny to not be read. Goldberg’s comic genius
is channeled by Monk throughout and the truth of the crime is always
worth waiting for. Reading this book is like reading a script of the
weekly show, making this read a delightful treat for any fan."


But I think my favorite comments came from readers on Amazon, especially this one from  reader in Australia (his name is Lee, but it’s not me!):

To me Sharona and Natalie were interchangeable.
Then I read this book.
It goes as far as acknowledging that Natalie’s character began as a
Sharona clone, yet explains how she’s evolved into something more. In
fact, there are lots of jokes in Natalie’s narrative that tap on – if
they don’t actually break – the fourth wall, and it has the effect that
postmodernism should: By acknowledging its own artifice, addressing the
audience directly, it paradoxically becomes more a part of the real
world to deliver everything that’s real about the personalities and
truths about human nature within the fiction. In doing so, this book
made me care for the first time about Natalie AND Sharona.

I hope you enjoy the book, too.

Should Authors Get a Percentage of Used Book Sales?

It was bad enough when Amazon offered customers the opportunity to buy lower priced, used copies from second-hand booksellers on the same page as the new books they were selling. Now it’s even worse.

I was dismayed today to discover that Amazon is selling remainder copies of  MR. MONK AND THE TWO ASSISTANTS on the same page as the full-priced hard-cover and the new paperback release, which comes out tomorrow.

I can’t say I’m too happy about this. Amazon is costing me money…but even so, I’m not sure that I’m ready to support an effort to legislate a cut for authors of second-hand sales.

Novelists Inc, a non-profit organization of multiply-published novelists, is advocating a rewrite of the copyright laws that would force second-hand booksellers to pay authors a percentage of the cover price for any book that’s resold within two years of its original publication.

NINC recommends that commercial used-book sellers be
  required to pay to publishers a “Secondary Sale”  fee
  upon the reselling of any book within two years of its original publication
  date. A percentage of these fees would then transfer to authors in accordance
  with contractual agreements between authors and publishers, thereby reinforcing
  the Founders’ intent, as stated in Article I of the Constitution, to
  protect authors’ exclusive right to benefit from their work.

Ninc further recommends that the fee paid to publishers and
  authors would be some fair percentage of the cover price of the individual
  book.  While
  it has been argued in the past that such a fee would unduly burden used-book
  sellers by increasing administrative tasks, that argument is rapidly becoming
  moot. Today, the largest sellers of used books have a strong Internet presence,
  allow Internet-based sales transactions, and maintain records of their sales
  and inventories, at least in part, by using ISBN numbers, as do other booksellers.
  The use of ISBN numbers to track sales is the same process whether it is being
  used by a used-book seller or a seller of new releases, and makes the payment
  of a fee a simple matter when calculated and transacted electronically. 

I’m feeling the pain of lost royalties, but I’m not sure that the proposed legislation is a good idea. What’s next? Should we insist that people pay a percentage on any CDs, DVDs, sofas, and cars that are re-sold within two years of their original release?

I have heard it argued that asking for a percentage of subsequent sales is no different than, for example, artists getting royalties on the reruns of TV shows. As someone who straddles both fields — publishing and screenwriting — I see a big difference.

In the case of a TV show, I am writing the script for the studio, which then exploits that product in many different ways  — licensing it to a network for broadcast, licensing it to a cable network for re-broadcast, selling it on DVDs, etc. In almost all of those scenarios, the studio retains ownership of the product. They are, in effect, lending it to someone else and sharing in the proceeds of this alternative exploitation of the product.  As an artist, I share in whatever the studio gets, no matter how it is exploited.

But there’s a difference between exploitation and consumption. When the studio sells the show to a consumer as a DVD, I get a share of the sale price.  The consumer owns the DVD  itself (though not the copyrighted content that it contains). If the consumer decides to resell the  DVD,  the studio gets nothing from that sale and neither do I.  The consumer paid for the DVD, he should have the right to resell that physical object if he pleases. That seems reasonable to me…even though I am losing money in all kinds of ways as a result. But I also believe in basic consumer rights and simple capitalism.

The DVD example is much closer to how things are with books.

In the case of a book, I write a novel for a publisher, which then exploits that product in many different ways — hard cover publication, paperback publication, e-book publication, foreign language publication, audio books, etc. In all those scenarios, the publisher retains control of the product (for a limited time as determined by my contract). I share in whatever proceeds they get. When a consumer buys a book, I get a share of the sale price. That’s end of the revenue stream for the publisher and for me, too. The consumer owns the book itself, though not the copyrighted content. As it stands now, and as it has for centuries, once you buy a book, that physical object is yours to do with as you please. You might not own the content, but you own the book itself.

I can certainly see the huge benefits for writers, and the publishing industry,  in the proposed two-year/shared proceeds legislation…but as someone who loves to buy used books, I can also see how it could unfairly infringe on consumer rights, inhibit capitalism in its simplest form, and how it could set a dangerous precedent that could be extended to other products.

What do you think?

Mel Odom on Tie-In Writing

I stumbled onto an interesting  interview, conducted about seven years ago, with novelist Mel Odom on tie-in writing. He says, among other things:

"A lot of ‘regular’ authors look down on media tie-in authors because they figure ‘You’re not doing real work. You’re not really being a writer. You’re doing knock-off stuff.’ There have been a lot of ‘regular’ writers who try to do what Chris Golden and I do, and they can’t because they don’t assimilate the world enough, or they’re trying to bring too much of their own stuff to it. Media tie-in writing is really tough, because you have to be strong writer, and walk-in there and tell the best story you can, while at the same time you have to set your ego aside and do it ‘their way’ to a degree, as far as ‘Buffy would never do this.’ ‘But, when I was a kid, I would do that…’

He wants to make sure that his books are more than just a screenplay in book form:

I feel that a lot of people, why they try to do novelizations, they squeeze the dialogue in between text descriptions. You know, ‘They were sitting in a restaurant. He had pancakes, and she had a milkshake, and he said…’ You know, and there’s a lot of novelizations that read that way. I don’t want mine to read that way if I can. I want to give them a book that has legs. If you do a really nice book, it may have legs and be out there longer than the movie is. The movie will come and go in a month or two, but if you write the book really well, there will still be people ordering it for a long time after the film has left theatres. There’s something about a book."

Yes, there certainly is.

The Mail I Get

I received this email today from a complete stranger. It’s a good example of how NOT to sell a book. 

Please order my book XYZ at http://www.publishamerica.com
and tell all your friends about it to. I have attached a release letter for you
so you can read what it is about. Please order it and then tell all your reader
friends so they can order it too. Maybe then I can become on my way to wealth.
Thank you for your time.

By "release letter," she means a press release from PublishAmerica that  contains an incoherent, one-paragraph summary of the book’s plot and some lies about the company being a "traditional publisher." I’m trying to imagine how anyone could think that this pitch would sell any books.

Another Get-Rich-Quick Scammer

You  know how much I love Lori Prokop and her laughable array of get-rich-quick schemes. Well, my brother Tod has found Lori’s dastardly male counterpart in Nick Daws, another self-proclaimed
"bestselling author"  of books you never heard of and can’t find in any bookstore. Daws’ "Quick Cash Writing Course" is the funniest author scam since Lori’s "Book Millionaire" debacle. But, as Tod writes:

There’s nothing funny about the desperation writers feel — spend even
a few hours in a workshop and you’ll see it in Technicolor — and as a
professor part of what I preach is that this isn’t easy. There’s no
back door. The only way to succeed is by doing, by handling rejection,
by improving. If you’re looking for Quick Cash, maybe make up a course
like the "bestselling" Nick Daws has, because desperate, foolish
writers will pay you for your precious secrets.

The Mail I Get

I received a lengthy email today from a woman in her 50s. It read, in part:

Who are the publishers that PAY “unknowns”
for their work?  How do I contact them? I’m an unknown author, writing a book about tragedy, near death experiences, and years of living with pain and how I learned to cope with
it all; and how God miraculously healed me of a debilitating, incurable disease.
My book is ready to be published. I worked with a literary agent (author coach)
for about three years. He got me a contract with Axiom Press, a subsidiary of
Evergreen Press.  But their cost to publish and market my book was between
$3,800 & $6,500 (depending on what services I chose).  I’m not
rich, do not have a big savings account and can not afford this!

[…]isn’t the biggest part of the money paid to the
publisher for marketing purposes?   That’s the way it seems to
me.[…]if I use a
POD and have to pay for all the marketing, etc.  Isn’t that going to
cost me in the long run, much more time and money that going through someone
like Tate? And who will set up my book signings?

Here’s what I told her: Every publisher buys books from unknown authors every day. You contact them through an agent. If they like your book, they offer you an advance against royalties. Your agent gets 10-15% of that advance, you get the rest. And if you earn your advance back in sales, you will get a royalty from every book that’s sold. You don’t advance the agent, or the publisher, a dime. That’s how publishing works.

An agent, or "author coach," who sets you up with someone who wants to charge you to publish your book is either a fool or a fraud. Either way, it’s a mistake to be in business with him, he doesn’t know what he is doing. 

The money you pay a vanity press isn’t going into marketing. It’s going into their car lease, their house payment, and their kid’s braces. It doesn’t matter whether it’s Tate or Jones Harvest or anybody else. They are all taking advantage of your desperation, gullibility and ignorance. 

But if you are hell-bent on paying to be published, save your money and go with iUniverse or Lulu. You’ll get the same "services" for a lot less.

The fact is that no vanity press is going to do any useful marketing for you — they will just empty your savings account (and that includes iUniverse). No newspapers or magazines are interested in reviewing any books from vanity press publishers. Nobody at a vanity press is going to set up any meaningful booksignings for you, either, because bookstores don’t want to host events for vanity press authors. Why? Because the vast majority of vanity press books are ugly, horrendous crap.

It’s cheaper, and more productive, to approach the bookstores on your own…something even professional authors do (and no one does it better than my friend author Joe Konrath).  Most of the successful authors I know have worked hard to establish strong, PERSONAL relationships with booksellers.

So, fire your useless fraud of an agent/coach and if you are going to self-publish,  go with iUniverse or Lulu and avoid any of their marketing packages.

UPDATE 12/29/07:  I heard back from the woman.

No, I do not want to PAY for publishing my
book.  I’ve always been under the impression that a reputable place
pays YOU for your work…but I was given a bunch of mis-information that
they don’t do that these days.  (That’s just the way it is,
and if you get it published you’ll have to pay a publisher because you
are an “unknown”. ) I’m so glad I came upon your web
site before I sent it to someone like Tate! Thanks again – for saving me from a
horrible mistake!

Movies A-Go-Go

I’m on strike…and on Christmas break…and I’m a lazy ass, so I have been catching up on my DVD awards screeners (one of the perks of being in the WGA, but I’m sure the AMPTP will roll that back on us, too).

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL – Cute and enjoyable, though the central conceit wears thin after awhile.
I’m looking forward to the USA Network series in which Lars and the Real Girl become a private eyes.

MARGO AT THE WEDDING – What a mess…but just when you are about to give up on it and watch BOSTON LEGAL on the Tivo instead, there will be a great line or a good performance. Jack Black is always fun, but he seems to be performing in an entirely different, and much better, movie.

CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR – It’s one of the better first season episodes of THE WEST WING.

THE BOURNE SUPREMACY – Even better the fifth time. I loved it.  And I admire the creative choices. It takes really guts to have the third movie take place, chronologically, in the final act of the second film….and real skill to actually pull it off. 

A Footnote to the Ardai Issue

Lately, Hard Case Crime editor and publisher Charles Ardai has gone to great pains to claim he’s not really an editor and publisher…and that his book SONGS OF INNOCENCE, which was published under his imprint, isn’t self-published and therefore should be eligible for Edgar consideration.
I guess he forgot about the interview he gave for this month’s issue of Mystery News about the evolution  of Hard Case Crime:

…and [Max Phillips] went off and mocked up some dummy covers to show me what it might look like if we did publish our own books in the old style. I’d worked as an editor of mystery anthologies for years, so it was simple for me to go to my bookshelves and compile a list of some great and undeservedly forgotten novels it would be fun for us to reprint. And Max and I are both writers ourselves, so we agreed we’d each write a book of our own for the line, guaranteeing that we’d have at least two original novels along with all the reprints.

Going Too Far

Vmcomic
TV Guide’s Michael Ausiello reports that VERONICA MARS creator Rob Thomas has considered continuing the cancelled series a comic book…but has been warned off the project by the WGA. Thomas says:

"I had a second meeting with DC comics. I heard that the [WGA] didn’t
want [TV writers penning TV-based] comic books during the strike as it
would promote a network property. We’re investigating whether there are
similar hurdles for a defunct TV series like Veronica Mars. Naturally, I won’t be writing it if the Guild doesn’t want me to, but we’re hoping that’s not the case."

I am a strong supporter of the WGA and of the strike, but if what Thomas says is true, the Guild is going way, way too far. The Guild has absolutely no jurisdiction over any writing that their members do in the publishing industry. It would be a big stretch, legally and ethically, for the WGA to call writing a VERONICA MARS comic book, or a MONK tie-in novel for that matter, an activity that undermines the strike effort in any way. 

In my case, if I used the WGA strike as an excuse not to honor my publishing contract to deliver my next MONK novel, then Penguin/Putnam, which has no ties whatsoever to the AMPTP, would sue me… and win.

(Thanks to TVSeriesFinales for the heads-up and to Aintitcool for the graphic).

A Breakfast Surprise

Hollywood
I got a nice surprise with my breakfast bagel this morning. Paula Woods reviewed the anthology HOLLYWOOD & CRIME in today’s Los Angeles Times and gave my story a rave:

Lee Goldberg’s "Jack Webb’s Star," is a riotous caper crime with a
nasty twist that starts in a traffic school class in the Taft building,
where among the offenders is a hapless man ticketed for drunk driving
in his wheelchair.

She also singled out stories by my friends Dick Lochte, Gar Haywood, and Michael Connelly for praise.

You can order the book here.