Obscure TV on DVD

There’s no logic behind the TV shows that are turning up on DVD. Is the world really clamoring for the complete "The Joey Bishop Show," "Dusty’s Trail," "The Doris Day Show," "Highlander: The Raven," "Baa Baa Black Sheep," "Beastmaster," "Doc," "That’s My Mama," "Guns of Will Sonnet,"  "What’s Happening?" and "Earth 2?"

And yet, where are the shows I’ve done? Where are those lost classics  "She-Wolf of London," "Murphy’s Law," "Likely Suspects," "Deadly Games," "Cosby Mysteries," "SeaQuest," "The Highwayman," "Cobra," "Diagnosis Murder," and, of course,  the complete "New Adventures of Flipper" starring the teenage Jessica Alba?

On the other hand, some real gems are coming out… I was thrilled to learn from the folks at TVSquad that all 26 episodes of the classic sitcom "Buffalo Bill" are coming to DVD in September.

Now if they’d only put out "Harry O," "Spenser For Hire," "The Night Stalker,""Search,"  "The Rockford Files," and "Maverick"…

R.I.P PAX

The Milwaukee Journal reports that PAX is dead.

Starting Friday, the little-watched PAX Network will begin shedding its
current identity to become something called "i."

That little "i" is supposed to stand for "independent," and Paxson
Communications, which owns Milwaukee’s WPXE-TV (Channel 55 over the air and
Channel 15 on Time Warner Cable), says it will become an outlet for independent
and syndicated programming.

It’s not clear what this will eventually mean.

Yes, it is. I is for Informercials…

Why Bother Going to the Movies?

My wife always wants to see something "light" on our date night. So she dragged me to both THE HONEYMOONERS and BEWITCHED. After enduring these two inane, laughless "reimaginings" of TV classics, I think both films should be formally classified as crimes against humanity and the film-makers brought in chains to The Hague. I also think Congress should pass a law making it a crime, from this point forward, to remake a TV series as a feature film ( a law which should have been enacted after the feature versions of THE AVENGERS or SGT. BILKO). It’s too late, I’m afraid, to save us from DUKES OF HAZZARD.

Lately, there’s been a lot of head-scratching in the trades about why boxoffice revenues are taking a steep dive. There’s a simple answer. Because movies these days suck. I don’t just mean these TV revivals, but movies in general. I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw a good Hollywood  movie and, sicko that I am, I see just about everything (Yeah, I saw STAR WARS…and found myself rooting for the bad guys and wondering when George Lucas lost his writing talent. And yeah, I saw BATMAN BEGINS, and I couldn’t wait for BATMAN ENDS. It was boring  and cliche-ridden). 

Overall, there’s much better stuff on TV these days than there are in the theatres… so why would anybody want to pay a babysitter, endure the traffic, pay exorbinant ticket prices, get gouged for popcorn and soda (it’s cheaper to eat at Ruth’s Chris than my local Regal Cinema)  put up with a noisy crowd and sit on sticky seats?

And the studios wonder why people are staying home?

(PS – I just thought of the last good movie I saw: it was either MILLION DOLLAR BABY or THE INCREDIBLES. How long ago was that??)

The Eyes of a Ranger Are Upon You

Walker is back. Chuck Norris is returning to Dallas next month Clintto shoot "Walker Texas Ranger: Ring of Fire," a two-hour movie for CBS that producer/director Aaron Norris hopes will relaunch the franchise, which was cancelled in 2001. Norris tells Variety:

"Reunions are more about one-offs," he said. "I would like to do more of
these."

To that end, action in "Ring of Fire" will pretty much pick up "as if we’ve
been doing the show the whole time," with Walker simply doing what he’s always
done: collar criminals and kick bad-guy butt (and not necessarily in the that
order).

Plot of "Ring of Fire" has Walker investigating whether one of his Ranger
buddies is a serial killer — or just being framed. He’ll also try to track down
a teen on the run from a crime syndicate.

The big question is, will Chuck still sing the theme song?

Guilty Pleasure

1629Today at Costco I found a heck of a deal… a $16.00  DVD boxed set of three of Frank Sinatra’s  crime dramas: TONY ROME, LADY IN CEMENT and THE DETECTIVE.  As I’ve mentioned here before, these three films are among my guilty pleasures, especially the two TONY ROME movies. The TONY ROME movies are based on the novels by Marvin Albert, who wrote screenplays, original novels under a variety of pseudonyms (Nick Quarry, Tony Rome, Albert Conroy, Ian McCallister, Mike Barone), and movie tie-ins (including a novel based on Woody Allen’s screenplay WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT!)

Run out to Costco and get yourself this boxed set…you can’t beat the bang for the buck.

There’s No Need to Fear, Another TV Remake is Here…

Following on the heels of SCOOBY-DOO, Variety reports that Disney is developing a live-action version of the TV cartoon UNDERDOG.

Underdog"Anything where you have a dog in that superhero context, that’s appealing on a
global basis," producer Gary Barber said. "Those films do very well, and there’s no better
brand than Disney for this kind of movie."

…The tongue-in-cheek "Underdog" skein, created by Buck Biggers and Chet Stover,
made its debut in 1964 on NBC and ran until 1973. The character was an unlikely
superhero: a beagle who sheds his milquetoast identity of Shoeshine Boy to
become a caped superdog who speaks in rhymed couplets. Wally Cox provided his
voice.

In the feature script, by Joe Piscatella and Craig A. Williams, a diminutive
hound named Shoeshine gets superpowers after a lab accident. When he’s adopted
by a 12-year-old boy, the two form a bond around the shared knowledge that
Shoeshine is really Underdog.

What Happens When TV Happens…

Ever wonder why a pilot doesn’t sell? There are a lot of reasons… and screenwriter John Rogers talks about the ones that doomed his WB pilot GLOBAL FREQUENCY.

What happened? TV happened. Even Mark Burnett (who was pretty cool, AND can kill
you with his thumbs) couldn’t beat it this time. Despite having some great
execs, and even testing pretty well, we got hit by a change of network
presidents in the middle of the shoot. I know, every guy in the industry just
instinctively winced when I said that. David Janolari was a gent about it, but
between some differing creative visions and network/studio gunk, all the best
intentions in the world weren’t going to get us there.

Also, in
completely honest retrospect, what the hell was I thinking? It’s a show about
how the institutions around us have failed us, and we live in a world of chaos
and death, held back only by borderline sociopaths. The HAPPY ending is our hero shoots an innocent man
in the face. Oh yeah, slot us right in after Gilmore Girls.

I’m Glad I’m Not a Freelance Journalist Anymore

I put myself through college, and supported myself for a few years after graduation, covering the entertainment industry for the Los Angeles Times Syndicate, Newsweek, Starlog, American Film, Playgirl, and a bunch of other publications. I went to a lot of movie sets, interviewed a lot of movie stars, and attended a lot of press junkets. I had no illusions that what I was doing qualified as major journalism, but I had ethical standards. I asked whatever questions I wanted to ask, I never let a publicist or studio dictate what I was going to write (even if my employers let them pay my way to distant sets), and I wrote the story I wanted to write.

I couldn’t do that today. Because now "journalists," and I use that term lightly, are required to clear their questions with publicists first… to agree before an interview not to ask certain questions about certain subjects.  Or, as in the case with junket for MR. AND MRS. SMITH, reporters had to sign contracts agreeing not to ask Brad and Angelina about their relationship.

When one reporter – who, like all the attending journalists, was required to
sign a "loyalty oath" vowing not to ask personal questions – inquired about the
stars’ onscreen chemistry, Pitt replied, "Between me and [Smith costar]
Vince [Vaughn]? It was palpable. I mean, we knew immediately when we looked into
each other’s eyes . . . "

I’d refuse to sign a document like that. And I wouldn’t clear my questions with a publicist first. So I’d probably be blackballed from studio junkets and interviews…which is why I’m glad I’m not doing that any more.

Does the studio really think America is clamoring to know about the
making of MR. AND MRS. SMITH? Or if Angelina did all her own stunts. Or
if Brad improvised any of his lines. Hell no.  People want want to know
if Brad was fucking Angelina while was making the movie and if he’s
fucking her now.  Thats the only "news" value at the moment in MR. AND
MRS. SMITH. There’s nothing else to write about (except, perhaps, that
the director is a strange and difficult guy to work with, as the LA Times reported a few days ago).

Of course, if writers and editors in the entertainment press had any self-respect or journalistic integrity whatsoever (which they clearly don’t), they’d band together and refuse to accept any conditions on their coverage. And if the studios didn’t like it, they could kiss goodbye any publicity for their film. Overnight, the conditions placed by publicists on entertainment reporters would disappear. Because the fact is, the studios need the magazines and TV shows more than the shows need them.