My Blog

How Hated Am I?

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I got this email today:

Do you realize that EVERYBODY in fandom hates your fucking guts you asshole?

I think it was from my Mom, but I’m going to answer it anyway. No, I had no idea. So, for fun, I thought I’d take a look at what some people are saying. Here’s a sampling:

From Jocelyn’s Other Desk:

Thy lips rot off, Lee Goldberg!  Thou jarring, fat-kidneyed scullian!  You speak an infinite deal of nothing!  […] Goldbergs one and all, thine sole name blisters our tongues.  Thou hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs.

From Nobody Knows Anything Blog:

I understand the impulse to write and read fanfic—you want to live in
this wonderful world as much as you can, and twenty-four hours a year
or one book every two years or whatever just isn’t cutting it for you.
There are several novel series that I am forever hoping will just happen to have a new installment at the bookstore every time I check. But
fanfic is like a steak dinner made out of meringue—might look the real
thing, but it’s not really going to fill you up.

From Dawn Rivers Baker’s Blog:

You know, it’s all very well to nitpick about the legal shimmies and shakes of fanfic,
but the legal stuff doesn’t cover what it must be like for the author
who feels violated by other people dipping their fingers into the
author’s creation. All you really have to do to "get" the author’s perspective is to ask a victim how it feels to have just been raped.

From Nick Mamatas:

Mystery writer and TV producer Lee Goldberg picks up a stick and whacks a hornet’s nest by taking on fanfic.
I have no dog in the fight; after all, what can I say? NOBODY had
better RIP-OFF my ORiGINAL CHARACTERS like … uh … Jack Kerouac and uhm Cthulhu and William S. Burroughs and and and…
However, I do like a good brawl, especially when everyone is so
obviously speaking past one another. "It’s illegal!" "It’s a hobby!"
"It’s illegal!" "It’s a hobby!" Haven’t these people ever heard of an
illegal hobby before? They sure seem to be acting like they run their
neighborhood meth labs.

Read more

Tod on Walter Scott

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The best reason to read my brother Tod’s blog is his hilarious weekly dissection of Walter Scott’s Personality Parade column. I open the Parade magazine that comes bundled with my LA Times each Sunday trying to guess which stupid questions and inane answers are going to become the topic of Tod’s blog post. This week’s column was tough to guess, because it was a goldmine of inanity. You can see the questions that Tod tackled here. I knew he’d pick the Desperate Housewives question, but I was surprised he let this question-and-answer go:

I was surprised that Kenny Chesney was at the Academy of Country Music Awards without his new bride, Renee Zellweger. Where was she? Stella Wilson, Charlotte N.C.

The pair prefer to say out of each other’s spotlight, so Zellweger,36, was not in the audience last month in Las Vegas when Chesney, 37, was named Entertainer of the Year. (Our sources say she was at the hotel next door, but Kenny’s rep would only tell us "Renee was busy elsewhere"). The actress did attend a party afterward with her hubby.

Care to correct the oversight, Tod? 

Do I Read Everything?

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I got this email today:

I’ve written several comments on your blog and you’ve never responded to any of them. Do you read all the comments on your blog?

Sadly, no. If a post gets five or six c0mments, I might read them all. But in general, I usually browse the comments on a blog entry of mine for the first day or two after I post it and then I move on. It would take way, way too much of my time to keep up on all the comments posted on all my blog entries… especially when the numbers of comments on the fanfic posts can number in the 100s (there have been 5308 comments posted on my blog in the last 14 months).  Besides, the blog comments often spin off into other topics or become personal squabbles between anonymous strangers who have nothing to do with me.

What’s the Best Way to Destroy a DVD?

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All the members of The Producers Guild of America have to sign a legally binding agreement before they can receive screeners of movies and TV shows.  By signing the agreement, I promise to  never to sell, copy, loan or giveaway the DVDs and tapes to anyond, and:

If at some point following the relevant awards season I wish to dispose of some or all of the material I have received, I agree to do so by destroying the cassettte or DVD in a manner that prevents its recovery and reuse by any third party. I agree that any violation of this agreement may constitute grounds for discipline, including censure, suspension, or expulsion from the Producers Guild of America and may also result in civil and criminal penalties and that the owners of the rights in the works I recevie are third party beneficiaries of this agreement with the rights to enforce it.

As I menti0ned a while back, my office is already swamped with Emmy screeners. So…anybody got any tips on simple and effective ways to destroy the DVDs I don’t want to keep?

The Fight to Save Science Fiction

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Yesterday on this blog, I refered to a post by Richard Wheeler lamenting the demise of the western. According to an article syndicated by the Associated Press, the Science Fiction genre is also fighting for survival. They talk to author James Gunn, who heads the University of Kansas’ Center for the
Study of Science Fiction…

…which he started in 1982 as an extension of
the writers’ workshops he conducted and courses he taught to teachers looking to add science fiction to their lesson plans. These days, he and the center are gearing up for a new mission – to save science fiction, itself.

…The economics and social shift Gunn and his supporters face are daunting, however.

Andrew Grabois, director of publisher relations at Bowker, said the combined science fiction/fantasy category published 3,197 new titles last year and sold $484.8 million, its highest total in three years.

That’s dwarfed by romance novels, which sold $1.6 billion last year, and is even behind the production of mystery writers, who cranked out 4,181 new titles in 2004.

…Gunn, who considers "Star Wars" closer to a fairy tale than science fiction, says there’s less room these days for what he calls the "mid-level" books that may not sell as well but contain the most imaginative and thought-provoking writing.

"(Science fiction) has to change to remain relevant," he said."That’s harder to do today because the best seller needs to have broad appeal, so they’re less likely to be on the cutting edge. You need that to drive the genre forward."

It seems that every genre, with the exception of Romance, feels threatened with extinction. And yet Romance Writers, whose works outpace the sales of mysteries, scifi and westerns combined, complain (and rightly so) that they get no critical respect or recognition despite the enormous commercial popularity of their work.

The moral of this story? Writers are never happy.

Holly Lisle Says No to Fanfic

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Novelist Holly Lisle promises to prosecute anybody who circulates  fanfic based on her work because "fanfic writers demonstrate not just blatant disregard for, but
active antagonism toward, the wishes of individual authors on this
issue."

UPDATE (6-24-05) Holly posted this as a comment on another blog entry:

"Ten years ago, I was, if not wildly supportive of the idea of
fanfic, at least tolerant of it. A few fans asked if they could write
fanfic using my characters, I told them they could as long as they
understood that they could not publish it and that I owned all rights
to the characters, and that under no circumstances would I be willing
to read what they’d written.

Times changed, associates started having to take legal action
against people who were writing in their worlds without permission, and
I asked my fans to please discontinue writing fanfiction in my worlds.
Which they did.

There were some fanfic writers posting in these threads who said
they would respect the wishes of authors who stated clearly that they
didn’t want fanfic written around their characters or worlds.

So obviously there are still some decent people like my fans who are
writing fanfic, and I feel badly about having to post a harsh notice
informing all fanfic writers that under no circumstances will I condone
any fanfic set in my worlds, and that any such writing that IS done
will be treated as derivative work and prosecuted.

Looking at the quality of people posting here, however — people who
are actively hostile toward the creators of the original work, who hold
the rights of the original creators in complete disregard, and who
state that they don’t care whether the original creators want them
writing in their worlds or not — that they intend to do what they want
until someone forces them to stop — I’m confident that the posting of
my notice is necessary.

As for taking heat from the people who have chosen to use my
statements as an opportunity to vilify me — ah, well. They’ve also
done a pretty good job of disseminating my wishing across a number of
sites and boards, thus decreasing the chances that someone writing
fanfic in one of my worlds could claim ignorance of my clearly worded
hands-off post.

So, to all of you who have been spreading the word for me, my deepest thanks."

I Hate Mysteries

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Well, I do today.  I’m struggling with some clues in my latest MONK novel and it’s hell.  I’ve been in this position hundreds of times (literally) and it never gets any easier.

God, I wish I could write a "mainstream" novel. It must be so nice to just tell a story without having to weave in a puzzling mystery to solve…

I suppose it could be argued that all great novels include a mystery to be solved and clues to the solution along the way… but those are mysteries of character. It’s not easy coming up with those puzzles either.  But in a good whodunit, you need to have the mysteries of character and a murder/crime puzzle as well.

It’s especially difficult if you’re writing a long-runing mystery TV or book series,  because you’re also struggling not to repeat yourself, not to use any of the tricks or clues you’ve used in the past.  So the more successful you are, the harder it becomes.

End of whine. Back to work.

Novik Chimes In

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Naomi Novik, one of the two "pro-fanfic" guests on OPEN SOURCE, comments on the radio show and the discussion here on her blog.
To give you a sense of the bizarre logic behind her arguments, she believes
that writing reference books about television (like my book UNSOLD
TELEVISION PILOTS)  is no different than fanfic.

And the books in the last category profit off the creations of others
*without* authorization — because legally you don’t need to have
authorization to report facts. So in the venn diagram of ‘borrowing
characters to write fiction’ and ‘use without authorization’, where
fanfic writers are in the intersection, he’s got one foot in either
camp even while he’s going after the people in the middle.

Need I say more? Okay, a little more. Here’s how she feels about authors who object to fanfic about their work:

I realized after posting, that the joking remark above might seem to
imply an insult any author who does object to fanfic. Not my intention
— I do understand individual authors who feel strongly that they don’t
want fanfic on their own work out there. If an author feels an intense
negative reaction to fanfic on her work, that is a completely valid
feeling. I don’t think that it obliges people to respect that feeling,
but it’s not ridiculous, it’s how she feels, and I personally do
respect that reaction out of courtesy.

Courtesy?? What
courtesy? She isn’t showing authors any courtesy at all. She "respects
the reaction," but not the author.  Her attitude is basically this:
Fuck JK Rowling if she doesn’t like stories about Harry using his magic
wand to have sex with everybody at Hogwarts.  Anything she writes
belongs to me to use however I see fit.

Her arrogance and stupidity is mind-boggling. Between her, and the
guy who made the "We more emotionally attached" comment, I think you
get a pretty accurate picture of the fanfic community and how they
think. Scary, isn’t it?

(I was amused, though, but her inadvertent acknowledgement of the central hypocrisy of fanficcers. If someday fanfic is written based on one of her
novel, she won’t read..

  …any of the fanfic anyway (just not worth the
potential legal headaches), so what difference does it make to me?

That statement says so much. Fanficcers see absolutely nothing wrong with stealing the work of other writers, even if it the author of the work is opposed to it, but
would sue any novelist or TV producer they think may have stolen something from their
fanfic.  Their work should be protected, it’s everybody else’s that up for grabs…)

Last Round-Up for Western Writers of America?

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On the eve of the Western Writers of America’s annual convention, legendary western novelist Richard Wheeler laments the state of the western genre…and the wisdom of the WWA’s decision to "drop its professional requirements for membership."

This merely formalized the practice of admitting most
anyone, regardless of the strict bylaws, which had been going on for
several years. So the organization switched from being a classic guild
looking after professional members to being an open-membership group.

Recently it was noted that Library Journal, which scrupulously
publishes the winners of various awards given by author societies, had
not included Spur Awards in its listings for some while. Apparently it
deemed the WWA awards to be beneath notice, which is a good indication
of the fate of the western novel. Maybe the LJ has a point: many of the
Spur judges no longer have true professional credentials, so the Spur
Awards are increasingly fan-given or wannabe-given awards rather than a
selection made by professional peers.

WWA is booming, actually, now that anyone can join. It has around 600
members, publishes a flossy magazine, sets up booths at trade shows,
and is prosperous. And there is no lack of books written by members,
even if these are often print-on-demand titles from vanity presses, or
more commonly, works published by spare-bedroom presses, some of which
do not even have ISBN numbers or bar codes, and thus are not
distributed by larger booksellers.

I am wondering where it will all lead.

That’s a good question…and one the Mystery Writers of America might ponder before they ever consider loosening their membership requirements.

Another Writers Conference Horror Story

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Author Penny Warner writes in the Contra Costa Times today about her experience at the California Writer’s Club conference in L. A.  last weekend… which I also attended. The event was held at a convent in San Fernando and many of the attendees actually spent the weekend there (and had to remember to return their towels to one of the club volunteers, who brought them  from home). Here are some of my favorite excerpts from her column, which was in the form of a diary…

3 p.m. — Check itinerary. Hotel not open until five. Try sightseeing, see only
strip malls, graffiti walls, bail bonds, Taco Bell, Arby’s, IHOP….

4 p.m. — Give up sightseeing, go to hotel, pray they will let us in early
for nap before conference. Discover "hotel" is actually a convent, with
religious statues, tolling bells, and nuns on wheels (golf carts?). Mother
Superior, who runs the office, is firm about check-in time, which is now 6 p.m.
instead of 5. Am I being punished?

4:30 p.m. — Search neighborhood for place to take nap in rental car. Not
possible in L.A. Return to convent and park in shady spot near Jesus statue. Nun
shows up to check if we’re vagrants. Swear on Bible we aren’t. Tom naps. I keep
an eye out for more nuns on wheels.

8 p.m. — Sneak out before "Senior Poetry Slam." Go to room. No key required.
Doors have no locks. So much for romantic interlude. Turn on single light bulb
and remove lampshade to read in semi-darkness. Drift to sleep hoping for
contagious disease so can go home.

That was day one. On day two, when I happened to be present…

Noon — Lunch cooked and served by nuns. Plain chicken, plain rice, plain
veggies, plain salad. No dessert. (Being punished?). Dig out Reese’s Peanut
Butter Cups from purse. Wolf them.

2 p.m. — Give another talk on mystery writing with Tom Sawyer ("Murder She
Wrote") and Lee Goldberg ("Diagnosis Murder"). Twelve people attend.

The volunteers were nice, and their intentions were good, but it was a poorly organized and sparsely attended event. I have to say that, after being disappointed with the last few conferences/events I’ve participated in,  I’ve decided I am going to be a lot more selective about accepting speaking invitations in the future.